Connect Deeper With Your Body

Speaker: 00:00:04

WSC Intro/Outro: This is When Spirit Calls and you on your journey are in the right place. This show is about magic miracles and meaning shared through stories, interviews and channeled messages. We have so much to share about who you are and your divine mission here on the earth. Let's get to it When Spirit Calls is right now.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:00:32

We have another wonderful guest coming up for you. It is Vicky Roubekas Vicky has a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from the Institute of transpersonal psychology. She is a psychologist, coach, author and speaker who helps women connect with their body so they can live a life of ease joy and authenticity. She has a private practice in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, where she sees clients in person and online. Vicki is trained in five lumen desensitization and reprocessing known as EMDR. She is a certified hakomi therapist, which is a mindfulness based somatic therapy. She is also a certified embodied awareness facilitator offering spiritually directed therapy. She is a Theta Healing practitioner. The list goes on, as she is also a Peruvian shaman practitioner and Reiki master, so delighted to have someone who has so many tools in her toolbox today. Please help me welcome Vicki to the show.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:01:33

Hello, everybody. Oh, it's always such a treat to be with all of you and share in this beautiful sacred space on when Spirit calls. You've learned a little bit about our guests this morning. But she's really going to dive into her story in just a moment. Hi, Vicky

Vicky Roubekas: 00:01:49

Hello, DeeAnne. It's so great to be here.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:01:51

I'm so happy to have you here. And you know, when you and I first connected, I just I felt your heart and I just loved it so much. I thought oh my gosh, I want to have this human being come and share with our audience. So I can't wait to dive right in. And in true when Spirit calls fashion, we always start with the story. How did you get to where you're where you are today. And so will you start us off? Will you share a bit about your story?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:02:16

Absolutely. So I feel super fortunate. I did administrative work for 20 plus years of my life, but I was never never happy with it. It didn't feel like it was what I was supposed to be doing. Didn't know what my purpose was. I feel pretty lost for a long time. And I also had not done well in high school. And I had gone to Mount Royal college at the time, not university now. But for nursing. And I didn't finish it in graduate I didn't ah, I basically like got kicked out of the program because I didn't know how to study and I didn't do well. So I thought I thought it didn't have the intelligence to actually go and do something more. So I ended up doing administration work, but I never felt it was what I was supposed to be doing. I always felt I was different, that I wasn't engaged in the type of work that I was providing. I knew that I had to be in service. That was definitely one thing that I knew I needed to be. So fast forward many, many, many years as interesting things do happen. I ended up getting each one and one in 2000 I guess probably would have been 2008 or nine. Wow. Then as a result, my I got a little pneumonia was in hospital for a week. I was awkward for a month, and my immune system was gone taxed. Wow. So I started going to see a lady who does Reiki more of an alternative person always have been. And so she supported me with that. And as a result, she connects to spirit and was would give messages as I'd go for Reiki. And one day she's like going, they're telling me Do you like psychology? And I'm like a Yeah, it's actually very interested in psychology I said if I would have known if it would have had the wherewithal and the the ability to I said I would have gone to university for psychology. And during this time I had actually when I worked at the University of Calgary, I actually went back and I did actually get my undergrad degree at some point later in life in my 40s. While I knew that I was going to eventually because I loved it once I actually realized I could study and allow getting good grades as an adult I figured it out. So then I I knew at some point I would go probably do my graduate studies because I loved it. But I just didn't know where and what. So then here comes this wonderful lady telling me about psychology at that point. I think I had almost just finished probably a few years later I finished my undergrad degree but it was in communication studies because as an administrative person, I thought oh, maybe I'll go into the ICT more sense. Yeah, exactly. So no, that's not what we would have planned for me. And so it was kind of funny after that session. I was super angry. I was like what? Because she was like going there telling me Edith, what you got to do, so I thought I would have to go back and do another undergrad degree or other grad degree in psychology. But I'm not going back for another four years. And then going into your masters for two years at this point, I was in my, you know, late 40s. And I thought, No way. And and so, I, but I researched it. And then I was like, excited. And then I realized I didn't actually have to do a full undergrad, I would just have to ensure that I had completed as a prerequisite some undergrad psychology courses, so that they knew that I was capable, and they could complete them. Why and so then I did that I apply. And then I was looking for the type of school that I wanted, because for me, again, come from a more alternative focused type of studies. And I didn't want to go to just your regular typical University of Calgary, even though I got accepted there kind of degree because I thought it's gonna be very dry, and I wouldn't like it. And that would have been correct. So I did research and it's kind of funny. Again, as I say, Spirit works in beautiful ways. I was talking to a friend and I had done shamanic training with a friend and we were out when I after Cirque du Soleil was kind of like around this time, a year and a summer. And I said, you know, I just want to find a university. I don't understand. I just want to find a school that I can do my masters that talks about, well, we talk about that, you know, corporate spirit and energy work and shamanic stuff, and is open to all these wonderful things that she's like when once just quoted the Institute of transpersonal psychology. And I'm like, what?

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:06:37

They're due for that? Yeah.

Vicky Roubekas: 00:06:40

And sure enough, I went home that night, I looked at it, I knew it was a school, they had just started in a distance training, so that he could stay in Calgary, and I would go three times a year, two times a year, per week. intensives. It was the second year that they would be starting it. And that was it. I applied and got accepted. And I went there, and I got my masters of Counseling Psychology degree.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:07:05

Wow. Ooh, I'd love you know, you're right spirit. Just it guides the way. You know, sometimes we forget that. But it certainly does. And so now you've been, you know, you went through this process, of course, as many of us do, where we're in a job that's maybe not fulfilling, or that, you know, we went into, because we thought we were maybe not smart enough, not good enough, not worthy enough, or whatever the reason is, and, you know, there's been many people that I've spoken to that saw that they weren't smart, because they didn't get good grades, but it was simply because they didn't fit in the box. Correct. Right. And once they found their passion, it was like, easy, like they you know, so I find that so interesting that you went through that. So tell us a bit now then, about what you're doing and helping people and how you're serving people?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:07:59

Absolutely. So again, is super important to me to incorporate and focus everything that I've learned. And that includes like I'm also I do Reiki, so Reiki, shamanism, any form of alternative connecting to create or connecting to stores incorporating energy work, or at least the idea of like, how can you incorporate that into your life. So if we are doing a session, and I'm like, Hey, here's how you can do this. That's something different. So most people that are drawn to me are drawn to me because of incorporate this more holistic viewpoint, that they could talk about stuff. And they can go like, well, I talked to my dead grandma. And people don't think that they're crazy. So I am a registered psychologist. And I see clients one on one in my home online. But again, I incorporate different things, different aspects, sometimes I can use, like energy work and session, but only if it's like, during certain type of therapy that I do, because it's a very right brained activity, as opposed to a very left brain analytical when I'm sitting with clients, and we're just having straight talk therapy, but still the importance of being able to speak to things that are normal for people, and they don't feel like Oh, my God, this person is going to judge me or they're going to not understand it. Because sadly, there are many psychologists don't, that's not their worldview, that's not what they think about their very, you know, focus more on, you know, quantitative type of therapy that, you know, CBT, maybe those kinds of things, you know, this is the only way to have therapy.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:09:34

I'm so glad that you're sharing this because I've heard this a lot from people who've gone to psychologist and it's very textbook to them. And that's one of the complaints that I get from people. They're like, Oh, I can't and this is not for all psychologists out there. And I think you're a testament to show us that. There are a variety of different psychologists that work under a variety of different umbrellas, who use a variety of different modalities and things to support the work that They do. And I think it's important to share that with people so that, you know, we don't taint the name of psychology, because that's what I hear a lot of people who come to me are closing the door on their psychologist. And I discourage that because I want them to have a broader spectrum. And you're one of those that really encompasses that holistic approach, which I really appreciate. And I think that's what really drew me into you. Because I have had psychologists that are very textbook, and I haven't moved the dial with them in the past. So what are some of the things that you know that you've learned about yourself? Or you've learned about your clients that you think is so powerful that you want people to know? What do we need to know as your audience about, you know, coming to see a psychologist or, you know, overcoming certain challenges in life? Like, what are some of those things that you want to bring to the surface stress?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:10:55

Yeah, absolutely. So what I've noticed, I typically see clients who have anxiety and a lot of trauma. So it's kind of the set focus that I have a tendency to deal with. And what I say to that is, most people think I don't have trauma. That's always the first thing. I don't have trauma, like, What are you talking about? And then they started explaining the his I always ask, you know, let's talk about your family system. How did you grew up? What happened to you? And they start talking about things that that are traumatic for them, they wouldn't be like, because people assume it's like, Well, I haven't I didn't my parents weren't abusive. I didn't have neglect I, I wasn't there was no sexual abuse. My parents didn't have any addictions, like, those are the big things right? And or I didn't have any, you know, major surgeries or go through a car accident or something, or the house burned down. Yeah. So and as a result, those big what I call those are big T traumas. Absolutely. Lots of people have those, and most people don't have those, thankfully. But I say there are a lot of small t traumas that build up over time. So what ends up happening is, depending on we've experienced in our lives, and it can happen from very, very small to that as we grow older, is we start having limiting beliefs about ourselves. And those limiting beliefs are running subconsciously, because we don't realize it. And again, if we don't acknowledge the thing, like I say, so can you tell me you can't get over something, and it's still troubling or disturbing to you, then that's trauma, that's something you haven't fully processed, that needs to be worked through. Because then you believe something about yourself in relationship to that, or something about the world in relationship to that that's keeping you stuck, that's keeping you held back that you will likely still have triggers from that you will still likely have difficulty in relationships as a result of those things. And so it's like, how do you unpack those things and actually look at them truthfully, and go like, Oh, and that's where you go, like, Whoa, oh, my gosh, I never realized this was affecting me in this way. Or this was holding me back. Wow, I love that you're

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:12:58

speaking to this and explaining trauma, because I think you're right, I think a lot of us maybe have a dissociative, you know, kind of perception about trauma. Like I didn't really have much trauma, you know, and I've even done that with myself. You know, I've had near deaths and I still didn't associate that with trauma. Can you believe that? Because Because I survived and never spine and I you know, but as you're speaking, you know, I'm thinking about these moments in my life. And one in particular comes to the surface for me, and maybe you can let us know whether or not this was traumatic, but I was bullied really bad. And in about end of grade seven, beginning of grade eight, and to a point where, you know, I was getting kind of pushed around in the hallway and the name calling. But one that stands out for me was the one day I was handed a note. And it was a list of all the things wrong with me that the students had put together, I'm feeling emotion just talking about it. I've never shared this publicly. And they had this list. And you know, what's so funny to me is I don't remember anything on the list, except for one thing. And the one thing was that I had a mustache. And so, you know, this has been an ongoing thing for me of, okay, how do I get rid of this hair on my lip and moving towards, you know, what do I do about it? It's been a constant in my life. And it but yet I never really thought about that letter. That's not something I regurgitate around, but I do definitely have this self conscious thing about the hair. And now I'm getting older. So I'm getting chin hairs too, which is kind of exacerbating that. And and so it's interesting to me because I never connected that with being a traumatic experience. But as you're speaking, I'm like, Oh my God, who was traumatic for me. And ultimately, just so everyone knows. You know, I tried everything. I tried talking to counselors about the bullying I eventually I defended myself and I got in a fight with the toughest girl in the school they had Have her come and fight me. And, and I beat her, I get a black eye. And I never had a problem again after that, and I'm not condoning violence at all. But I had tried everything. And it was they, they basically, were pinning the girl on me and I had to defend myself. So I said, Okay, fine, I'll fight you, then I don't want to, but I'll do it. And that changed the game for me. So I just want everyone to know, I did make it through that. Not condoning fighting. But I just want you to know, I came out of that on top.

Vicky Roubekas: 00:15:32

Yeah, yes, I have a lot of clients who've experienced some form of bullying. And it is extremely traumatic. And again, people don't realize this. It's very different for girls and boys. Sometimes it's not actually fighting. Sometimes it's just it is the verbal attacks. I need to see isolation. Yes, the written reaction. Yes. So what girls do is they write they talk about you behind your back or to your face. And then they they basically isolate you and withdraw you from your group of friends. Yeah. From the whole school.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:16:03

So what's happening? Yeah, get everyone turned against me? Yeah.

Vicky Roubekas: 00:16:07

And the thing is, we as a species, we need to belong. It's an existential crisis if we don't belong, because we need it for survival. Right, so we need to feel like we can be part of something. And that's where that first happens is in school. Yeah, isn't that something. So if you don't have that, then you don't feel like you are a part of you don't feel like you belong? And that can be extremely damaging.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:16:32

Yeah. So I love that you actually talked about belonging, because I think that this is really important. And, you know, I felt for a long time as a young kid that I was different than everybody and I was in the world, but not of the world. So I really, because of that I became this overachiever, people pleaser, to try and belong. What can you give us in terms of advice? Like, if someone's feeling like, I don't belong here, you know, if they're struggling with that, even in adulthood, you know, if they're feeling like they're lacking a sense of belonging, what's one of the number one or number two thing that you would suggest to people that are lacking that sense of belonging? Right?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:17:09

I'd say that you do have your tribe, that it's that your tribe is out there, it never is in school, in such a mall microcosm of the entire world that we're thrust into, right, even if there's 1000 people in your school, you'd be surprised that you don't find your people. Yeah. Right. And that would be is like figuring out and that can be very hard. So people pleasing, right is a form of survival. It's a survival mechanism. I talk about it in my book, and it's very well known. So it's called bony finding is people pleasing. So it's another one of the spike like grease paint on Rainbow spawning is people pleasing, it is like, I need to survive the situation. And so a lot of people present a thing very amenable, and they people please, because they're fearful that that those people are going to go away, or they're fearful that something that's gonna get retaliated towards them, versus gonna yell at them get mad with them, and their child self can't deal with that, because that's how they survived growing up. So then as a result, it is like trying to find yourself and it can be very, very difficult. When you're like a full on people pleaser, most people who come to me like how zero I don't know my identity, I don't know who I am. I don't know, my likes my dislikes. And that's where to start. So it is I talked about this a sense of like, even just looking at a list of words that are personality based, and start trying to check off or asking friends, if you hopefully at least you have even if you have one good friend, you're You're doing good. Ask them, you know, what is it that you see in me? What kinds of personality characteristics would you say I embody? And then as a result, they can start to see who they are. The other piece is like, what do I value in life? What do I value? Do I value and you can use those similar words I value honesty, I value family, then are you incorporating and living it the way you want to and define it for yourself because it is only your world, it gets to be defined for you. What family is family doesn't necessarily mean your family that you grew up with your blood relatives. People that you want in your life that treat you respectfully and kindly the whole family. Yeah. Right. So it can feel lonely, but I say is like often people do have found a way even with lack of identity or people pleasing to recognize those things. And you just have to kind of sit down and pen to paper and say like, Oh, actually I do have these things. Yes, I am. There are things and you can start with things that you don't like, right or start questioning the like gold in the world and go like why did they choose the shirt? Did I buy it? Because Do I like the color? Is it comfortable? I like it. I like the style. Right? Can I choose something can I actually go out and people again, who are people pleasers sometimes have difficulty making decisions even like I don't know, should I buy these glasses or this glass? Is because am I gonna get judged based on that? Yeah. So it is a process. It's a slow process, but starting to just go like letting go and just be like, Okay, I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna buy this one thing, and then I'm gonna see how I feel. The other piece would be to not compare yourself to other people.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:20:19

Oh, yeah, the comparison trap? Yeah,

Vicky Roubekas: 00:20:22

Very difficult, right? Well, that person were that. So that must be what I should wear. Or that's how I need to look, because that's what that's what they're doing in life. So that's what I should know. It's like what feels right for me, then the other piece is connecting to intuition wrote up.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:20:37

I really love that you brought in these, like, two questions. So you know, back to my question like, well, what can we do for lacking that sense of belonging? You know, the first thing you said was like, your tribe is there. And you know, because there's other people that don't feel they belong, that's where I found my people was all the people that also didn't feel that they belonged. And look, now we've got this huge community of people who didn't think they belonged. And they have found their tribe, like you said, your tribe is out there. That's the message. But you also added these reflective pieces. And there's actually quite a few questions, you know, why am I wearing this? Why does this actually feel good for me, you know, and making decisions for yourself? I really like that. And this comparison thing, you know, this is a, this is big, because we see it happening with social media so much, Vicki, which either social media is a contributing factor, like that seems like a silly question in a way. But, you know, you probably see people that struggle with that, because they see so and so going on this trip or doing this and having this great experience. And they're like, why isn't my life like that?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:21:43

Yeah, yes, yes. Absolutely. And sadly, I see it all too often, right. And people perceive that what they see on social media is reality. And it's not we all put on facades, we all put on faces, right? We're having a shitty day, something happens in our home, and then we go to work, and we're just like, I'm good. Everything's fine, like the spine. So it's no different. But it becomes, you know, super focused on this aspect of like, this person is successful. And this person looks like this. And it and again, relating to like, if you buy this thing and look like me, then you look like me and things don't do that, right. So, yes, sadly, social media has really heightened that sense of all these people are successful and doing all these wonderful things in the world. And I am nothing, that idea around needing to be popular, needing to be successful. And it has to be somehow in the limelight, it actually has to be somehow seen. This is a small, small, small percentage, it's no different than we didn't have social media and somebody became an actress and they went to Hollywood, and they were successful. We're talking a very small percentage of people are going to actually make it, you know, different on social media. Yeah. Is there more opportunity? 100%. But sometimes you're not going to blow up like some certain people do.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:23:06

Yeah. And that comparison trap is can be a deadly game. What can you do you have any suggestions? If there is somebody that, you know, finds themselves scrolling, and they and they start to feel bad about themselves? Like, is there a suggestion that you have to your clients around that comparison?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:23:23

Yes. And that would be is if you feel bad, because you're watching somebody you need to unfollow them.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:23:29

Ah, disconnect from that

Vicky Roubekas: 00:23:32

You need to like, what uplifts you? Yeah, who are you watching? That actually makes you feel good about yourself that is providing messages that empower you that fire? Yeah, fire, you give you confidence to go out and do something, follow those people, or things that you have goals towards without judgment, again, no self judgment. And that's very difficult, but you can go like that person is who they are, who am I? And what's right for me, because we can't change certain things about ourselves, right? And I'm not going to be 510 If I'm bipod. Yeah, they can change. There's things that we can go towards, but we still may not get to that level that we would potentially like what's a realistic goal for ourselves. And so if you're like looking to, again, if you're looking to work out and you want to improve your physical body, then go find people on social media that are showing you the tools to get there that are not, you're not defining them by how their appearances, you know, you're not looking and judging yourself in comparison to them. So I often will look at women I'll actually look at men. Ah, oh, and I'll be like, Okay, what man is showing me how to lift weights that's going to support me to get stronger. Yeah. And he's going to teach me tools that are not over the top so I'm not even looking through the perfectionistic or the ridiculously think weightlifting guy. I'm just looking for a normal guy who's like going, Hey, try this instead of this because it's actually easier. And you can do things better and you feel motivated, and you feel like, Oh, I could do that. Yeah. Right. So those kinds of things can support you to stay away from the trap of comparison.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:25:16

And it reminds me of my mum used to tell me a story that sister Ada, one of the sisters in her church would share, and she would talk about the good dog and the bad dog. And the, you know, she talks about feeding the good dog. And in other words, you know, making sure that you're giving it nutrition and all of those things that weigh in, and that includes, you know, ourselves, what, are we feeding ourselves, not just food wise, but what are we feeding ourselves in the world? And this idea that, you know, are we feeding the bad dog within us? Right? And I think that with the TV that we have, like I'm seeing all on Netflix is all about murder and death and the end of the world? And, and it just is this conditioning to keep us locked into this fear? And that's feeding the bad dog. Right? That's, and so, you know, I think that when we're on social media, as well, and even out in the world, you know, who are you surrounding yourself with? What are the messages on your feed? You know, like, are you feeding the good dog? And I think that's a really important thing for all of us to just do a check in and say, Okay, what am I feeding myself energetically, emotionally, spiritually and physically? Right? Yeah. Yeah, I love that. So what else for us who have been traumatized, but don't know it? Or we're, you know, maybe we're struggling with something in our lives, you know, what are some other tips or tricks that you have up your sleeve that you'd like to share with us today?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:26:57

I would say, in terms of, especially when you've had trauma, often people then they disconnect from their body. Right. And again, it doesn't have to be big to trauma could be little to traumas. And again, because we have a tendency to judge ourselves, and we are judged by other people, and we look to our body as being something that is not good enough. And then we disconnect from that body because it feels safer, right? Sometimes we have like some people experienced a lot of illness. And so they feel the body has betrayed them, or they've experienced, you know, a sexual assault or an abuse. And so the body feels like a betrayal and we disconnect from it as a means to be free from that. But in so doing, we then don't honor ourselves and we don't arm we're not hold, we're not bull we don't. That's where your intuition is, that's where your love is within your heart, our ability to connect with other people, that means you have to be connected to your body. Yeah, so I say that's the work to do is how to reconnect with your body. And as the reason why I wrote a book from my own personal experiences, I was very disconnected from my body as a result of my own traumas. And I'm very analytical by nature so I would stay in my brain eautiful to live up here in your brain safe but your brain lies to you. Hmm are you realize to you all day long, your truth and your personal inner knowing your sense of connection to higher soul is lies in your body. And your intuition lies in your physical body. So then it's like re, you know, getting back to that place of like, how can you connect with your body in a safe way? How can you listen to your body to hear the signs and what's going to support you and find that intuition place where you can make decisions that feel right for you, because this is your life, only you can know what is right for you. Nobody can tell you, the be how to act, you get to decide those things, always. So that comes from this place of really feeling again, grounded in your body and feeling safe in your body to the best of your ability. And so it's an exploration of that.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:29:12

So can you give us some examples of what it looks like to be disconnected from the body? Like what are some signs or symptoms of that disconnection?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:29:21

Yeah, for some, it's to the extreme where it would be born dissociation. And so they are actually checking out physically of their body and can be like, not in themselves. So they feel like they they can, you know, potentially like lose track of time, because they're being triggered. They've had such intense trauma that it's not safe to be in the body. For other people. It can be a sense of numbing.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:29:47

Battle. With addiction?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:29:49

Yes, absolutely. So numbing through addiction, right? Difficulty looking at your body would be another thing, right? Like I don't want to. I don't look at myself in the mirror. It's even hard to look at my face where I don't wanna look at any part of me the way of disconnecting from the body, difficulty feeling emotions, because emotions are housed in our body. So we have difficulty with emotions, per se and feeling emotions are actually allowing yourself to show those emotions out to the world. Because sometimes we've had to shut down emotions in our family systems because they were too much. Right? Our parents didn't know how to deal with our emotion. People are extremely sensitive, highly sensitive, have a lot of emotions. And, you know, they're just told to be quiet. Yeah, you're too much for me. So they make me shut them down. So then as a result of Pillsbury, numbing, and they don't know how to how to actually show emotions that feel emotions. So it's a relearning of that. But yes, most of those things are like, just, I don't really check in to see how my body's doing even a small thing is like, why am I tired? Right. Do I need a nap? Right, right. We just get, we don't and all we overdo. So that it's just like a pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing to the limit. I'm guilty of that. Push, push. Yeah, that's a way to distract and stay kind of like, disconnected from the body.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:31:15

Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's even many more than that. But I would imagine that it also shows up in our relationships. If we're disconnected from our body, then our relationships probably deteriorate a little bit, too. Yeah. And our physical health would probably be the last on the docket where we start to get symptoms of that. Yeah.

Vicky Roubekas: 00:31:35

Yep. So when we're not listening, yeah, everything is energy. Well, we don't process out things. We've restored our body. Yeah, so discomforts and our bodies always speaking to us. It's telling us, Hey, pay attention to me. Pay attention to me. You're not listening. You're not listening. So then as a result, it just gets ramped up. Yeah, right. And I've seen it, I've experienced it. I stall. Similar to like me getting each one anyone. I'm not saying everybody's going to get a disease or but your body will say like, You're not listening. So here it is. Yeah. You got a cold for a week, and it turns into a cold per month. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're constantly going, going, going going, wishing, right. And then you don't process out the stuff that you've experienced. And unfortunately, it may turn into some more. Yeah, difficult illness that you have to go through. And, for me, the way I see the world is like, number one, and it's hard for people, but we do choose these things. We're drawing these things to us. And that's not as a means of judging ourselves or blaming ourselves for the reason we've gotten an illness. And I would never say no, but it's for the lesson. It's where the Learn and the growth and the moving through. Yeah. So are we going to listen, or we're not, you know, learn the lesson and go like, I don't allow this anymore in my life. As an example, maybe you just let people treat you like garbage, and you stay with people because you're fearful of being alone. Right? And then you keep all these people that just manipulate you and take advantage of you. And treat you poorly. That's not okay. So you, you have to learn your lesson in order to then move forward, and then your body will also ease up and you'll have greater healing.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:33:19

Yeah, it's so fascinating to me, you know, this beautiful vessel of ours, you know, we our souls chose these vessels, as our conduit to express and to experience this world. And, you know, I love that you're bringing us back to our body because, and the intuition, you know, in that relationship with the body, because I think a body gets really neglected. And I will admit to everyone that I rejected my body because I was sick. Growing up, I was really sick as a kid. And so it was like, my body was always weak. And so I just kind of rejected my body. And that blocked by intuition for many, many years. And I believe our intuition is that channeled to God, and the only way to get through that is through that body. So what are some quick things that we can do to tune into our body? How can we get connected to our body?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:34:10

Yes, it is. One thing you could do is actually feel it.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:34:15

Feel it? Feel the feels?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:34:18

Yep. Feel feels that's when I say to feel your feels, including the physical sensation. So it's like learning and you can do that simply just going like okay. You can say how am I feeling as an emotion? How am I feeling right now? Yeah, what is the emotion and I we have the basic emotions, right? You know, I'm feeling sad. Okay. What kind of sadness are you feeling? Go deeper. Go online. And look it up. Get a synonym, right. I'm actually not sad. I'm devastated. Like, look at the words and it will you will, you'll know like, right. I'm like, wow, that's, that's a tense. Yeah. Okay. Then close your eyes, and take a deep breath. And just from do Mental scan from the top of your head down to your toes and be like, where's that devastation sitting in my body? Not necessarily in your heart. It could be anywhere. Surprisingly, I'm feeling this ache in the back left of my back. Okay. So then explore it. These are kinds of the techniques and tools that I talked about in my book as well as helping people to get more into their body. And that is exploration of that just with just open curiosity, and no judgment.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:35:30

No judgment. That's the That's the hard part. But a very important part, isn't it? Of not judging just being the witness?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:35:37

Yes. Yeah. So then you can be like, Okay, what kind of sensation and am I experiencing within this pain? Is that a stabbing, pain? throbbing, be specific as well. And you can look those words up there. I put words like that in my book as well. So people can look at those and go like, Oh, this is what I'm experiencing. Awesome, right? And then you can be like, okay, just again, or just saying, Oh, it's throbbing. Okay. How intense is that? On a scale of zero to 10? Zero was neutral tense, holy moly, it's over the chart. Then it'd be like, like, oh, it's only at three? Well, that's not too bad. But it's there. I can feel it. How big is it is a circus that is an on the inside? Is it the size of the dimes and size of the dinner plate? Like all these things are just exploration. Yeah. And when you do so you're getting permission to connect with it in your body, and it will shift.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:36:26

Yeah, because your body says, she sees me and hears me, which is what any, anybody wants in any energy wants. They just want to be seen and heard. Yeah, really

Vicky Roubekas: 00:36:36

go deeper and sit longer than you could ask your body. Two questions. Number one, what do you want from me? It'll be different. What do you want from me? Maybe more superficial? Like, I need you to go take a nap. Right? Yeah, I didn't think of that. Right. And that's a need. But it still it would be like, yeah, go take about and then what do you need for me? It will be deeper. I need you to love yourself. Really, like holy? You know, you and so at the beginning, people were like, I don't hear nothing. Yeah, it takes it can take a while. But when you start to connecting to yourself and doing it more and more, it just being gratitude. So that's the other piece just be like, Thank you back for showing up for me and just showing me that you're uncomfortable. And maybe I need to put a nice back there. And then or maybe you can go like, you know, why are you showing up for me? You can ask that like what's going on? And it made me go like remember when you lifted the 5000 pounds of the other day when you're doing your garden? That's a no no remember? Yeah, like, oh, okay, note to self, don't overdo it. Right? It also kind of like, you connect to that inner knowing that truth. And it's only through sitting with in quietude and connecting in a mindful way in a meditative way with your body and start having an interaction with it. That's how you connect. I love. But that's it over time.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:37:58

Well, I think things are simple. We just have this great ability to overcomplicate, don't we, you know, so interesting, because as we're talking, I was getting this pain in my right hip. And so am I, okay, it's talking to me, there's something going on here, I need to tune into that. So this timing of this is just so perfect, as I've been noticing my body kind of aching and painting a little bit more with some of the weather changes and things. But I think there's something deeper going on there. So I'm going to tune in with your advice, your beautiful advice that you gave us today. And I'm gonna go in deeper with my body after this is done. So thank you so much, Vicki. This has been great. I mean, I feel like we can there's so many layers to this, we can talk forever about this. But you know, I think we've got the big reminder, which is really honoring this beautiful vessel connecting with the body because that is the pathway to that divine to deeper discovery to God to whatever you want to call that. So thank you for that beautiful reminder. So you have a book do you want to you want to share with everyone this book and your how they can find you what what's your next step?

Vicky Roubekas: 00:39:11

Yeah, so my book is called Embodied and it is on Amazon. So it's called How to connect to your body ignite your intuition and harness universal energy for healing. Awesome, and you can find it also on my website. I have two websites a once my name VickyRoubekas.com and that's more my author page. And a little bit more in terms of like another type of therapy, but I do is on there. And then my actual it's a psychologist page is psychotherapycalgary.com.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:39:40

We're going to have all those links in the show notes so that folks, those of you that are listening, we'll be right there in the show notes for you. So you can just click on those links and it'll take you where you need to go. Vicki, this has been so great. I'm gonna go check out this book I want I want a copy. So I'm really excited to lean into that. And I want to thank you so much for taking the time to be with us and share your gentle wisdom with us. I know, I know it was a really good reminder for me and there's some new interesting little pieces came up for me too. So I hope the same for all of you listening. Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of when Spirit calls. Thank you, Vicki for being with us.

Vicky Roubekas: 00:40:21

Yeah, this was awesome.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:40:22

It was awesome. All right, everyone. Until next time, thanks for tuning into When Spirit Calls.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:40:31

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