Leveraging Transition for Transformation

WSC Intro/Outro: 00:00:04

This is when Spirit calls and you on your journey are in the right place. This show is about magic miracles and meaning shared through stories, interviews and channeled messages. We have so much to share about who you are and your divine mission here on the earth. Let's get to it. When Spirit calls is right now.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:00:32

Hillary does Cesar is an award winning business expert, esteemed author, host of the relaunch podcast and radio America's the relaunch. As a sought after speaker founder of the relaunch CO and creator of the fired up entrepreneur signature course Hillary brings fresh energy to industry leaders, CEOs and solopreneurs. She is widely recognized for her work in neuro psychology as it relates to business and life and holds a psychology degree and several certifications from top practitioners in the field. She also serves on the Foundation Board of Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, where she is a frequent guest lecturer on topics such as entrepreneurship and business. As a loyal philanthropist, Hillary has been featured on ABCs hit TV series Secret Millionaire, where she shared the stories of people who have overcome difficult circumstances. Her insights have been seen on ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, and mentioned in the Huffington Post, Yahoo Market Watch and others. The combination of her work has brought her to innovate the three h q framework where Hillary empowers midlife women to experience joy, and reimagine what's possible. So happy to have Hillary on our show today.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:01:55

Oh, hello, and welcome back, everybody. So wonderful to be with you. As you have heard, we do have another extra special guest on the show today. Hi, Hilary.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:05

Yeah, it's so great to be here. I'm so looking forward to this.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:02:10

I really have been to and every time that we connect and get together, I always feel such joy in sharing space with you. And that's something that I briefly talked about before we got on the air today. But I wanted to just start off just getting the audience a little bit more acquainted with who you are, because we can read the bios and it's all wonderful and all of that, but there's so much more to you. And I really want to give you an opportunity to say hello and share a little bit about your story. What have you been through and where you are now?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:02:44

Well, first off, you know how much I absolutely adore you and I have actually worked with you, you have given me so much of where I am in my own growth in my spiritual journey, in my views, what I was willing to take on and the comfort level of knowing that I had built up a real solid foundation, which I pride myself on with my own businesses as well. So I just had to say that I'm sure well, hopefully we'll get more into that as well. But um, you know, when you ask, BIOS don't BIOS don't tell the real story. And my story has been one of massive relaunches. I use the word now where everyone knows what I'm talking about a relaunch we've all experienced it over the last couple of years, whether it was in your relationships, whether it was in your business, whether it was in personal life, whatever. There's been something that you've really had to lean into understand and I have felt like my journey through health scares I had melanoma I had you know, I got divorced, I had three young little kids at the time, I have lost loved ones, including my mom a couple years ago to cancer after a very short experience. And when I have really realized is that there is a way to relaunch yourself that will allow for a transition to turn into a transformation. Like Without it there's a feeling of loss you feel lost, you feel lonely, you feel isolated, you feel like you're stuck. And I really wanted to share my specific journeys through a successful businesses, unsuccessful businesses and Silicon Valley, which is where I had some of my businesses and CEO chips and I've been coaching for over 20 years entrepreneurs and probably it's now probably had over 1000 and There's so much wealth of knowledge that comes with other people's journeys, as well as your own journey. And so who I am today is a compilation of all of these transitions of all of these relaunches and how I've been able to survive and thrive. It's not just you know, those are words to me. And that's why I was so excited to come on and be a part of this, because I really do attribute so much of my own personal growth and my journey to you.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:05:42

Ah, thank you for sharing that, that fills my heart up to hear that, and you said, some really powerful things here. And when you talk about relaunching in our lives, it comes to me like kind of the rebirthing process. And I think that you use those interchangeably. Yes, yes. So when we talk about this relaunching, or rebirthing, experience, we have many in our lifetimes, that's part of the journey, isn't it? And one of the people I follow is Sadhguru. And Sadhguru says, Why don't want all your dreams to come true. Because if all your dreams come true, then we cease to exist and to live. And so the relaunch ideas that, hey, we get a vision, we get an idea or a dream, and we go and we go after it, and we achieve that dream. But knowing that there's another dream behind that, and another dream behind that, and another dream behind that it is infinite. And that is the joy of life, it's not meant to be like, I'll never get where I want to go. It's like no, you get to where you want to go. And then you find a new place you want to go and you keep raising the bar, you keep going and breaking through the glass ceiling, so to speak. And so I love that your work now is a focus on this experience of taking transitions and creating transformation from it. Because if we're not leveraging our life experiences, what the heck are we going through it for?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:07:07

For everyone listening out there, I, I grew up in 10 years at Oracle high tech, I was logic, brain based everything about it. And I still believe that there's elements of having a successful business where you have to bring together not only left brain, but right brain. And as you said, you have an eye column, a column is rocket goals, right? These rocket goals because you want to achieve your goals, whether you call them goal setting, whether you call them prioritization focus dream you're trying to get there. And a lot of times what happens is, we end up not where we wanted to be, we're like, wait a second, I had this, you know, I wanted to manifest this, I had this dream that I was going to do this, I had this vision that I was going to do this. And then it doesn't happen the way that we bought it. And as you so eloquently said, a lot of times we think that wait, it didn't happen for us. But really what what's occurring is that it's setting ourselves up for something even bigger. So to appreciate to understand that, alright, these are steps along the way. I call it the relaunch effect. And the relaunch effect is all about when one area of your life is starting to transform. Other areas are kind of like, hey, they call it the peloton. And yeah, you are a reflection inside your business. It's you. And we sometimes compartmentalize it to say it's one or the other. Well, I'm going to work today. But look what's happening, your home office? Is it your home? Or is your office or is it just morphed into?

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:09:08

Yes, perspective. And I want to just add to that, too, because you said something really important. You know, sometimes it doesn't show up the way we thought it would. So when we have a dream, or we have a goal or intention or whatever that is, and then we get to that outcome place. And then it's like, Oh God, this is not what I thought it was going to look like. And this isn't the way I wanted it to work out. And then we suffer in that. And recognizing that we get to choose how we respond to that. And when we look at it from the perspective that you just mentioned, as Oh, this is another stepping stone. This is going to lead me to the next thing. It changes the game for us and we don't suffer so much and we don't sink our vibration so that way we're not attracting the things that we want to attract. And a perfect example is a local friend of mine. She had to shut her business down over COVID They had a beautiful Space, they had to shut it down. And it was devastating for her. But as a result of shutting that space down, a farm showed up for her. And now she's created this amazing retreat type of farm space, this sacred sanctuary that she would have never gotten to had she not closed down that company. So, you know, again, we forget that there's a much bigger picture to be seen. And we've only got a few pieces of the puzzle. And yet we're so quick to say, Oh, this is the worst thing ever. And how often has it happened to you where you thought, Oh, my God, this is so bad. And then later on, you're like, Oh, thank God, it happened that way. Right.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:10:39

So true. I have to say, I have a podcast too, as you know, and it's called. It's called the Silver Line relaunch. And so many people can't see the Silver Linings when we're going through it. But yeah, hindsight, right out of the 125 plus people I've interviewed now, I always ask a question. I say, you know, would you ever change? What happened? Would you want to erase it? And we're talking like the worst things that have happened to people. And I mean, people that have been, you know, it literally zipped up in a body bag and lost, you know, limbs and lost friends and family and everything. And every single person has said, You know what, I wouldn't change a thing because it's who I am now. And I'd love to share a story with you that might resonate with your audience, that about four years ago, we had a family cabin, up at a place called Silver Lake and Silver Lake is exactly the way you think of it like silver glistening on it. It's just, it's spectacular. And it had been in the family for 85 years, my grandparents had built it added on to it. It's just you know, it had all of those, you know, the smells of just the fire in the fireplace. Just everything was there from a memories perspective. And my family, it's a summer cabin, we would go up and we would open it up together. It's usually like a big group of us. Well, there was a there was a moment where I couldn't go, I was second, my daughter's couldn't go. But my brother, my dad, my stepmom, my son all went up to open and it was a rainy day. And it was cold. And they get in there and it had the weird smell. But there was some changes. There were some things that were happening as they turned things on and turn the oven on. And there was a rumbling below the cabin. And my dad said, you know, maybe we should wait, get somebody up here to check it out and getting anyone up, there was a very big pain, because nobody wants to go there, it's too far away. And my brother finally said, You know what, I'll just take care of it. Next weekend, let's just go it's really cold. So they left, and they were driving down the road. And all of a sudden, they saw the fire truck switched by and they were like, Oh my gosh, and my dad said, I have this unsettling feeling, we need to turn around. And so by the time they showed up, which was 15 minutes after they had left the cabin, the cabin had blown up. And it was in the final smokiness of the last embers that were burning out. And I tell the story, because it's one of those moments that imagine what would have happened had they stayed or they just powered through and said, you know, but there was intuition happening there was like a higher self calling my brother calling my dad saying, You know what, this is not the time or the place to be thinking about that. And now as we've taken the steps to replace it and rebuild in which by the way, you know, the yellow spotted frog is you know, is living large right now because we had to make sure not to have it go outside of the parameter and all these different things. But we're now creating something from what was invisible on top of this invisible space to make it visible memories again. And there's something so incredibly powerful with this and with other people's journeys, that it could be so symbolic of your business right now. Yeah. What actually is in the process of relaunching of blowing up of not like not working for you that you could have a different perspective around that maybe there's something else you by the way, and now that my kids are getting older. I'm not sure I would have wanted them to go up there alone in a cabin that was still on propane still on like really hold from a safety perspective. So now I'm like wow, Okay, now there's this new structure where there once was a very old and decrepit type of cabin. And so I just want I want people to be thinking what in their life is are you stopping progress from?

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:15:14

I love that story, I still have goosebumps, actually. And this is a perfect example of when Spirit calls us, like you said, higher self. And again, whatever you want to call spirit. But the point being is that oftentimes we do try and push through, don't we, your family could have stayed and said, Oh, like, let's figure this out. And let's keep tinkering. They could have all been gone. And instead, it was like, no, let's just regroup. I'll try again next weekend. And so there's an opportunity here for you as listeners to think, Okay, what am I trying to force that isn't working? That's the first question. But then what am I avoiding in trying to force the thing over here? Because oftentimes, we're avoiding what really is calling to us by distracting ourselves trying to force the round peg in the square hole. Isn't that so true for so many of us, as business owners, I think about so many times in my life where I'm like, No, I decided, that's the thing I'm doing and I'm doing the thing. And then it would be so painful to do the thing, when really what I was supposed to be doing was over here, and I just didn't want to look at it, because I'd already made up my mind or whatever that is, right. And so when we surrender to that, then all of a sudden, we hold space, or we make space to be able to hear what else is there.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:16:40

It is so true. And about a couple years ago, and you know this? Well, when my mom did pass, one of the things that I kept having this, like crazy thought is that I need to write a book, I need to write a book. And initially, I thought the book was going to be about a business venture that I did. And all of the like the you know, all of the espionage and the things that happened in this crazy, crazy world that I was living in. And I got very quiet. I got very, like I just, I looked inside versus constantly looking on the outside. And something that came to me was a concept that you just hit on. It's called the three HQ, three HQ. And where it started was in the 60s 70s 80s, we it was all about IQ, how intelligent Are you? What are those stats, you know, need to know the steps A to Z and all just follow it and I'll be successful, and then guess what happened? You're not successful. And then in the 90s, it became EQ emotional quotient. And that was all about how empathetic and you know are you dialed in, and the real leaders have this great empathy, but they were then missing some of the other components. And I started to really think about this from a business perspective from my own life perspective of what had happened. And I realized that it's really that three HQ concept of getting into your heart, your why getting out of your head, which is the Second Age. And when you do that, and trust your intuition and lean into your intuition, then you connect to your higher self, which is what I call your greater self, which is then when you can be a manifestation magnet. And that's when your business really starts to take off. So my the entire intention of writing this book was to share with people how you can have a three HQ business and how you start with having that three HQ lifestyle, so that it does become a reflection of what you really want to create and what you really want to bring. But as we started this conversation, it's about your foundation, right?

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:18:55

Yeah. Yeah, the structure, I oftentimes use the analogy of the fire hydrant, the open up the fire hydrant, water spewing everywhere, right. And this is what we do with our energy, we go out there and we throw spaghetti at the wall and we see what happens and we float around and energy is going this way in that way. And when we put a hose on the fire hose, that's what you're doing is you're essentially putting a holes with the structure of the three HQ, right? Of like, okay, let's check into the heart, let's get the mind kind of in a position of power instead of robbing us of that. And let's focus in on that higher self, that essence, that soul that spirit that is alive within us. And I think it's so beautiful that you're doing this work, Hillary because I think that's missed a lot. And not just for business owners. Of course, we have all sorts of people listening, but it certainly is something that's applicable to everything in life. It's not just to business, even though yes, it will provide that stability and that foundation, just allowing yourself to go through are a bit of a process as you're responding to the world as you're making decisions, allows this increase of awareness for all of us. And then we can do better. And we can receive that guidance, that intuition, you decided to wait on that book, you thought the book is going to look like this, here's what the books gonna look like. And something said, Okay, wait a second, let's just kind of dial that back. And now this other book has been birthed. And so it's so beautiful when we can kind of take pause, and allow that intuition to come to the surface.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:20:35

And it with what you just said, there's also I was able to by taking pause, and I actually, it's part of that one of the chapters is about taking pause and being able to reflect. But there's also a big part of me, having grown up in a medical family, dad was a doctor, grandfather was a doctor, I went to college, and I thought I was going to be a doctor. And I've always been passionate about neuroscience. And when you start to look at getting out of your head, a lot of us are stuck at stories, we're stuck in our limiting beliefs. And you and I have discussed that. I have a concept called belief blasters, that takes your bugs, your beliefs, underground surfacing, and literally blast them. Because if you don't, then a lot of times what happens is, why is it that you keep going for something and you keep getting knocked down? Why is it that your business, or whatever else is you're trying to go for you just something happens something steps in the way that just keeps, it's like, I feel like a lot of times people are on this circular I know I was I was constantly feeling like, wait a second, two steps forward, three steps back. And there is this point where the logic, and that intuitive side can come together. And it's so powerful, I talk about the power, the wisdom, and then this whole concept of being able to have strength within and your personal power, and how you can get to be successful in whichever area you want. But business success comes from having a very solid foundation around your personal power.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:22:26

Yeah, it really does that personal power. I think life success is around personal power. How often do we pour into other people till we're exhausted or we don't create boundaries, and then we're resentful. The list goes on that are all related to this personal power. And I love that you created this acronym of bugs, beliefs underground, surfacing? Yes. Because I think that we forget how much of a narrative or the stories that we've allowed to be embedded in our mind, that director narrative, right, and then it creates all sorts of chaos and again, suffering with these beliefs that we're tied to. And so to be able to allow those to come to the surface and then recognize them and say, Hey, wait a second. Is that really true? You know, is that even true? Because half of the time it's not even true. There's limiting beliefs, right? And so oftentimes, people ask, like, Well, how do you get rid of the blocks? Like, how do you manifest? How do you do the things and part of it is allowing these beliefs to surface addressing them, looking at them, and recognizing that they may not be true for you anymore? Maybe at one point, they were right one, at one point, they would have served you, but they're not anymore. And so again, increasing our awareness of these things will help us to kind of clear the path out, won't it?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:23:52

Oh, and you said something there. That's so true that if you really think about what is factual, there's very few things that are really factual, right? I'm a woman, you're a woman out, my name is Hillary, I'm married to Eric. But when you really put the list together, there's not that many that are 100% factual. So then if you start to think about that, then you start to realize that everything else is a belief, and it can be an empowering belief, or it can be a limiting. Yes. And then you can start to say, Well, wait a second, how do I continue to create more empowering ones, especially around business or relationships? And that's when you have to realize that there are those beliefs there are those bugs that are truly holding you back? It's neuro science based they will not go away. You may think willpower, willpower willpower, but it does not happen. You may get through it this one time or two times, but they will always come back up in the most in opportune times, right? You're sitting across from a new person that you're dating and all of a sudden you say something you're like, where did that come? Out? Was that really me? Yeah, that's your

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:25:20

That's your bug. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's amazing. So Hillary, if you could give the audience like a core piece of advice, I know, we've given them a few golden nuggets, as we've talked today. But if there's one thing that you could tell people, whether or not they're in business doesn't matter, what is one thing that you would say to people in terms of their own growth and listening to spirit and doing the things of living this joy filled life that we're all trying to live? What's one thing that you would want to share?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:25:49

I would say it's contrarian, it goes against what we're all taught, which is be visible, get out there be on social media, get, get out there, do as much as you can to put yourself out. And I really think you have to be invisible. First, you have to really find that special place within you. So that you can hear first, so that you can listen to what you're hearing, and then act on it. So when you go invisible, then you can show up in the way that you really want to express yourself in the visible world.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:26:31

I think that's so beautiful, because there was a time in my life where I felt pretty invisible. And I think for a lot of people who are intuitive or empathic, they've felt very similar, like even in this world, but not of this world, and not being able to be seen in the way that they want it to be received or seen. And not only that, but then we've got all these other limiting beliefs that say, I better stay quiet, I better keep my mouth shut. I better stay hidden, right? Because heaven forbid if I'm too loud, or if I speak something that isn't right. And oh, my goodness, right. And so we have been conditioned to keep it quiet, to keep it to ourselves.

Hilary DeCesare: 00:27:12

Condition to be the best kept secret.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:27:14

Right? Yes. So here we have it. We've got all these best kept secrets out there. And yes, I'm talking to all of you listening today, that you are a best kept secret. And we are in a place in our world where we're meant to shine that light brightly. And how can you shine a light on the world if you're staying hidden? And so what a beautiful message to end with to not be afraid to have gone through the invisible or to go into those invisible spaces, but to recognize that it is so important to also be visible, and to be seen and to be heard and your voice does matter. It absolutely does matter. So what a wonderful way to wrap things up today, I've had so much fun with you, Hilary, thank you so much for being here. If someone wants to reach out to you, and they're like, oh my god, I'm looking for a business coach. And I need one that can bridge the logic in the heart and all the things, how can they reach you? What can they do to connect with you?

Hilary DeCesare: 00:28:15

Thank you so much for asking. And as I mentioned the book Relaunch Ignite. Nope, sorry, spark your heart, we change that to Spark Your Heart to Ignite Your Life. And that is going to be coming out shortly if not already when this comes out. But what you can do is text text to 55444. So that's the number at the top text 55444 and put in the word relaunch. Put in the word relaunch. And that will get you into hearing more about the book hearing more about three HQ and being able to contact me and the different programs we're working on to get you to start to embrace and live a three HQ lifestyle.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:29:10

I love it 5444 text relaunch if you want to connect with Hillary and stay in touch. I love the work that Hillary does. And I don't think you'll be disappointed at all if you are looking for somebody who can easily bridge that gap and help you to connect with the spirit of your business with the spirit of your life as well. So, Hillary, thank you so much for being part of the show. I'm so glad to have you here with us. Thanks for shining your light with all of us. And I can't wait to be back with all of you on when Spirit calls. We'll see you next time. Bye.