From Oil Worker to Men’s Mental Health Coach

Speaker: 00:00:04

WSC Intro/Outro: This is When Spirit Calls and you on your journey are in the right place. This show is about magic miracles and meaning shared through stories, interviews and channeled messages. We have so much to share about who you are and your divine mission here on the earth. Let's get to it When Spirit Calls is right now.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:00:33

Today's guest on When Spirit Calls is Kevin McNee. Kevin is a transformational coach and mentor specializing in helping men become the best versions of themselves. With a focus on navigating life transitions, overcoming self doubt, shedding limited beliefs and breaking free from the self limiting behaviors. Kevin provides a safe and open space for men to be vulnerable and authentic. Through personalized coaching, he empowers men to confront and conquer their obstacles, unlocking their full potential for greater fulfillment and success in all aspects of life. Kevin's compassionate and empathetic approach has earned him a reputation as a trusted mentor, guiding men towards positive and lasting transformations that lead to deeper connections and purposeful lives. I can't wait to spend this time with Kevin and all of you today.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:01:25

Oh my goodness, you guys are so used to me interviewing females. I am so excited to have a male with us today champion. Beer energy, oh my gosh, I'm happy you're here. And, you know, this is such a wonderful opportunity for us. Because, you know, I think there's this shift that I've been noticing happening and you probably are aware of it too. You know, there was this like, real big empowerment female movement for the last little while. And so it's all about the women, rah rah rah women, women, women, which I love. Okay, I'm not dissing it anyway. But what I was finding is that there was these men that are like, well, where's my safe space? Where's my cheerleading team, you know, and what I love about the work that you're doing is you're creating this very safe sense of belonging for man to step into their divine masculine and their divine feminine. So this is going to be such a fun conversation and Kelly to dive in. Kevin, why don't you start us off with telling us a bit about your journey, I know that you have moved through a lot of incredible, incredible significant moments in your life with such grace and such wisdom. And so I would love for you to share with the audience, you know, what was that story for you in what got you to where you are today.

Kevin McNee: 00:02:54

You know, I think one of the stories that really is present for me is showing up at one of your holistic Earth events in Edmonton, and being one of two men there. And, you know, out of out of a room full of, you know, amazing speakers, there was I think there was 22 speakers that were all talking about, you know, how their story has changed their lives. And there was two men there listening and, and I was like, we're all the men, like, everyone here is speaking and talking about their stories and how they can truly change their life and, and how what they've been taught isn't necessarily how they have to continue living and just being in that space. I was like, hmm, men need to hear this, or men need to have a space like this. So I really, really started the journey for me on on getting started, you know, with working with men.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:03:53

Well, isn't that so fun? That's come full circle. Like that was probably what was that? Five, six years ago? Like, maybe longer? Yeah

Kevin McNee: 00:04:02

I think it was. I want to say that it was like 2018 Yeah, I think it was 2018. Yeah, yeah.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:04:08

Yeah. And, and so that inspired you to really kind of thing, okay, there's got to be something for men out there. And you probably found that there wasn't a lot. Sadly,

Kevin McNee: 00:04:21

you know, that was that was kind of the, the the kickoff point, and it really got me, you know, my thoughts going like, maybe this is something that I can do, and I mean, then that's to my own, like self limiting doubts and beliefs and negative thoughts going, who are you? Right? Who, why, why is you but what I recognized was them opened up and started to have conversations with people, men specifically, and and starting with myself opening up and sharing and being like, hey, you know what, this is what I'm going through or this is what I'm feeling or I'm actually not just like good, you know? I'm feeling this right, you know, I have, I have another emotion and then, you know, happy or angry, right. And, you know, the more that I started opening up and sharing, the more it created a space and felt safe for others to do that as well, especially other men. And I can remember having conversations, one on one with men that, you know, that I had known for a long time, but truly didn't know. And he really didn't know me, because it was always the surface level conversation. And the deeper that we got, the more we truly got to connect and understand each other. And I'm like, there's something to this,

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:05:38

There is something to this. So you keep talking about sharing your story. And so can I use that as a segue now for you to share, you know, the journey that you went on, and feeling like you had to show up in a certain way as a man and then feeling pretty defeated by that? So can you let us have it?

Kevin McNee: 00:05:59

Of course, you know, I would, I would say my story mirrors, very much of western society, working, doing everything that we can to try and, you know, build a life, go to school, go to college, get a job, work hard, raise a family, have the nice house white picket fence, just save until you retire. And then, you know, you can enjoy your life, right? That's how it's supposed to be and, and if you're not doing that, then, you know, you're doing it wrong, and it's not the not the way things are, are supposed to be. So I started out a little bit differently. I went to college in Edmonton and, and took Professional Golf Management. And I was like, hey, you know, what, I'm a pretty good golfer, I can, maybe I can, you know, turn this into a career or something, I didn't even know that this was a possibility. And, and then it was and, and as I kind of got into that, I realized that, you know, financially it was, it was a challenge, there was a lot of competition, and my own my own, like self doubt and limitations were like, you know, what, I'm just gonna bow out here, and, you know, get a real job. And, and I had, I had moved down from a northern in northern part of the country on BC, and it was oil and gas related. And I had worked up there for a while and viewed quite a few people in oil and gas and got offered an opportunity to go work in oil and gas, you know, where the where the big money was, and where everyone wanted to go and have a five year plan and make all this money and then, you know, ride off into the sunset and live the life of their dreams. And the moment that I started into it, I can remember I can remember one guy saying he's like, man, you should have stayed out while you are out. And I just, it really surprised me I was, you know, he lived a really good life. He had, he had a lot of success and everything, he ran his own business. And he's like, man, US due to should it be should have stayed out while you were out. And I never really understood that until, you know about it was about 13 years later. And I had worked my way up right from right from the bottom working on on their drilling rigs, which I say that that's the bottom but you know, that's a it's a, it's a hard job, it takes a really strong well to be able to, to last through that. But, you know, going through that that's where I started and worked my way up into, you know, into the office and dispatching and you know, business and never right up into upper management within within that 13 years. And I had everything right, I you know, I was had this I had the job. I had the family I had the house with the white picket fence. My fence wasn't white, but it was you know, it was it. It had that it had everything right. Vehicles money in the bank. But I can remember laying in bed going Azada like, like this is this is it. It's like I'm, I feel like I'm meant to be so big. And now here I am at the end of what everyone told me that was success, and happiness and joy and love and fulfillment and you know, the life of my dreams. And here I was feeling empty. And you know, unhappy in my marriage and unhappy and unfulfilled in my job and just feeling like I all I had to do all I could do was do more, be more and give more to try and get what I received because I didn't know anything different.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:09:45

Wow. So you slaved away until when

Kevin McNee: 00:09:52

I slaved away for quite some time and you know throughout that time I started in oil and gas in in 2006 and And right up until it was about 2013. When I, when things started to switch for me, yeah. And, you know, I just it was, it was one of those times where I was drinking a lot and party and and just, you know, I was making making good money and I had a pretty flexible job and sales was it and you know, going out and having fun with golfing and drinking and all of that stuff was part of it. But I can remember one time waking up and not like feeling like this anxiousness and go and, you know, what is this all for? Right? I don't, I don't really believe in anything. I'm like, it's, I don't believe in God, or I don't believe in Jesus. I don't believe in, you know, anything. It's just like, what's the point of what I'm doing and who I am. If at the end of my life, it's just the end, and then I get, you know, put away or, you know, spread somewhere. What kind of a life is that? So, I started asking questions, and there was a, there was some friends of mine, as well as my ex wife, who had been to see this this lady who was an energy healer. And she did, she did Reiki and she did mediumship. And, and I was like, What is this? Like? Like, I want to I want to know, like, the Give me Give me the details. Like, what does it feel like? What does she say? Who comes through all of this stuff? And she was like, why don't you just go? Right? So I see. Yeah, and she was hard to get into because he was super popular. And, and it took it took a while to get in. But I went in there. It changed everything for me. Because I went in as a 100% skeptic. And I mean, you know, as well as I do that the skeptics are the are your best testimonials, right? So I went in there, and yeah, it was pretty much just, I went in with an open mind. So I thought, but pretty close minded. Still, I'm like, Well, we'll see what this kind of like woowoo voodoo nonsense is all about. And, you know, my ex wife and I had lost a son who was stillborn at at five months, you know, a few months prior to that about six months prior. And the very first thing that she said to me, she didn't she didn't know me, she she had only been seen my wife one time. She said, your son's here and he tells you he loves you can always just say, oh, man, like even thinking about her head now. Yeah, right. So I'm like, instantly, then like it was just like the floodgates open? And yeah, it was. That was the start from not from that point on. My view was to be a better person. And I didn't know what that looked like, I didn't know what that meant. But I was just going to be different. And that's I tried, I tried and I tried to be that that different version of myself and start seeing things through a different lens it and I really did. But it it started to highlight all of the things that it that I truly didn't want and weren't in alignment for me to write. So

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:13:06

I'd love to I love that you say that. Because I think a lot of people who goes through this like curious expansive awakening, if we can call it that, right. And we all have different levels of awakening, of course, and that, you know, that soulful journey. But I love that you said that, you know, the more you leaned into that truth, the more you saw what you didn't want, which you had the right like, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy job, like, again, all of those things come to the surface. So I just wanted to highlight that for audience so that if they're finding a lot of things are feeling right for them anymore, is very normal. Because you're coming into deeper aspects of your truth of your real truth. And so it's naturally wanting to show you the things that aren't serving you in your highest good anymore. And that sounds like exactly what happened to you.

Kevin McNee: 00:13:58

100% and, you know, one of the one of the biggest things for me was it now opened me up. So things started to you know, the I started to smell things more and see things more and feel and notice like the birds and and the one thing that she said to me, she's like, if you if you get anything from this, from this session with me, she's like, start noticing the signs, they're smacking you in the face, and you're not listening, you're not seeing them. So start noticing the science. I was like, okay, so I just started noticing and that's when, you know, things really started showing up for me too. And I had started on my like, my physical journey right around the same time. I was quite overweight, like I was, I was over 250 pounds. And you know, I was a closet smoker too. So hiding that and the guilt and the shame and you know, from from being like, you know, liar. Yeah, you know, just that lack of integrity. I wanted to change all of that and I did so I quit smoking and and started running and the more that I did that, the more I was just like man I did feel so much better. And it started opening my mind and my heart and, and you know all of the things that were being shown to me. But then I go back into the into my relationship or the family home and realize where I still wasn't showing up. But all I saw was, how unhappy I was. I'm being treated this way. I'm, you know, I don't deserve this. I feel like I'm working so hard. I'm doing all of this. But all I was doing was, was doing, doing all of the things that I had always done, that were contributing to the relationship being toxic, right. And then I recognize that I work as well. And I was like, the more that I gave, the more that it just took away from me. And, yeah, so that, you know, the one thing about this openness and this new awareness and this higher consciousness was, your awareness is amazing. But it doesn't tell you how you're supposed to do it. And I'm like, I'm like there was no, there's no rule. But all I knew that I wanted to do something differently, and change what I had in the yard. And I did. But there was, there was a lot of mistakes made along the way.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:16:13

And you know what, those mistakes are important for us to write, you know, we aren't perfect, we were made imperfect. And so it's those mistakes that lead us closer to our most divine path. And you you said something that really stood with you from that experience with that healer. She said, start to notice start to notice. And something so simple yet, so like I get goosebumps just saying that the second time because a really is that simple, everybody. And I think we overcomplicate all the things we think, Oh, to have the spiritual practice, or to be intuitive, or to do these things we need to it to look like this. But something as simple as just starting to notice that which you did not before. And so that is awareness that is paying closer attention. But it's so much more than that, because you mentioned that the signs are slapping you in the face, I call those spiritual two by fours, by the way, spiritual to life. Right? Yes. Well, I've got a few of those in my time, that's for sure. But really, truly, it's our ability to just be open to say, Oh, what, what could I see what magic could be possible today that I didn't notice before. And in doing that, we get the privilege of seeing so so much more and so much in depth, as well. So I really love that. You know, Kevin, now you're a coach, you've taken all that experience, you take in a divorce, leaving the job leaving the system, so to speak, and you have ventured out on your own. And I know you've done, you know, all sorts of trainings and breathwork, and all these things. But now essentially, you're a coach, now you're a mentor, who gets to guide people through this process. What are some of the key things that people need to know if they're going through a difficult time in their life? Or they're feeling like they're stuck? You know, what are the things that you typically would would advise people on or give them as advice to help them along their way?

Kevin McNee: 00:18:17

Yeah, the number one thing that comes up for me is self doubt, recognizing, recognizing where it is your own thoughts, your own patterns, behaviors, and where that comes from, that's holding you back from, from doing the things that you want to do, and being the person that you want to be and like to talk about goosebumps, to like about chills, that it's that self doubt, and those beliefs that that we will actually now believe that are holding us back from being the greatest version of ourselves. And I will tell you right now, me, personally, I never ever thought that I could be the person that I am now. Wow. You know, thinking that thinking the thoughts that I have, you know, facing the fears and the, the everything that comes along with like, leaving what I lacked, yeah, the the life that people dream about or that are told is the life of your dreams. I walked away from that because it wasn't my dream, it was someone else's. And doing that to it still takes so much courage and you know, I still have, you know, fears and insecurities and stuff that I'm working through and limitations that that I continue to like work through and face, which also feels like that's one of the reasons why I'm meant to help coach and, you know, teach and mentor others because I've been through it and I'd still you know, still facing the fire and you know, it can be crippling and it can keep us stuck in situations, you know forever and I see it

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:19:59

This self doubt is a big one. And you know, it sounds like in your story I mean even your your golfing profession, no life, right? Like you stopped yourself from pursuing that right? And it was the self doubt that maybe not. And so we talked a lot on this show about the ego mind the logical mind that comes in that is responsible for that self doubt. And so building a relationship is one thing that a person can do to you know, curb a bit of that self doubt. But what are some of the techniques to consider for helping us with self doubt, like if self Delta thing and it keeps sabotaging us? Are there any tricks of the trade, so to speak, that you use that are like, quick and easy for people?

Kevin McNee: 00:20:46

Um, you know, the one of the things that, I mean, I would say, to tell anyone, if they're going to start with one thing, start with physical activity, you need to get them, you know, get themselves and it doesn't have to be going to the gym, it doesn't have to go for a run or a swim or a bike or, you know, it can be like going for a walk getting outside, in into your body. Yeah, right feeling in your body. When you're when you're in your body. You're not in your head. And the biggest the biggest problem that I'm gonna say the biggest problem with everybody is this right here. And that's our head. Right? In our mind. I heard you know, the heavier, you've heard of the book, The Untethered Soul, right? Yeah. Michael singer, he speaks to, he says, Our mind is always telling us stuff. It doesn't mean that we have to listen. Right? So, you know, that's one of the things I would say that breathwork really helps. It's something that you know, then, very, very few people utilize. And it's such a powerful tool, and it helps on so many levels, like, you know, physical health, mental, emotional, spiritual health, it's just, it's got so many benefits, you know, things like that. And it's on, on kind of like a logical and practical sense. Grab a grab a piece of paper, and ask yourself, why you do the things that you do? Why do you stay? Why do you stay in the same job? Why do you are you staying in the relationship? What is it that's keeping you there? I'd venture to say, for a lot of people, it's it's they don't think that they can do any better. Yes. You know, think a lot of think. Yeah, yeah. And is it true? No, it's absolutely not true. And that's like, what is what is the truth, right?

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:22:33

I love that. Because, you know, you said something really good there. I loved that when you're not in your body or in your head. And so get in your body so that you get out of your head, because what happens is we get on the hamster wheel, right? And then we spin, and then we start to buy into the lies we start to buy into, okay, well, that experience happened like that before. So this must be it right? And it's not the truth. And then our feelings are a result of that thinking, which then progresses us into our actual reality. Right?

Kevin McNee: 00:23:06

100 %, absolutely.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:23:07

So this is really, you know, addressing the self doubt is really addressing the thinking mind, it's really addressing that ego mind that keeps us in fear that keeps us locked in. And even though of course, we need our ego to keep us alive and functioning as human beings. If we create boundaries, it makes a difference. And doing physical activity and breath work helps us to create those boundaries. So that is brilliant. This word kept coming to me. Or this phrase kept coming to me, I should say it's, are you dreaming someone else's dream? So as you were speaking, I heard that because you, you know, you dreamt someone else's dream, the dream of getting the white picket fence and the family and the job. And that was someone else's dream. You thought it was your dream, but it was someone else's. And I think that's such a powerful question to pose to the audience today, so that they can lean into that deeper truth and discovery. And, of course, as Kevin mentioned, write it down. Journaling is a powerful tool for a reflection to ask yourself some questions to get to the bottom of things. You know, and I love that you brought up sorry, it's Michael singer, the author, Michael singer. Yeah. Michael singer, and the Untethered Soul is that yeah,

Kevin McNee: 00:24:29

That's right. Yeah, the book. Yeah,

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:24:30

The book, you guys. Great, great book out there. And what a beautiful opportunity for us to say okay, this thought is coming, but I don't need to buy into the thought I don't even need to listen to the thought I don't need to believe the thought. I get to choose what I do with the thought we get to write so I think that is powerful in itself. Anything else that you want to add in terms of what are some of the big things we need to know if we're feeling like I'm living someone else's dream and I want to get on My track, anything else that's coming to you that you want to share before we wrap up?

Kevin McNee: 00:25:05

Well, it's, you know, it's one of those things it's determining, you know, one of the things that I found too is when you ask people what they want, or when I asked people what they want, a lot of times, I don't know, you know, there's, there's lots of things right, I want, I want money I want, you know, a new boat, I want a new, whatever. But they know what they don't want. Ah, because we've lived our lives. I mean, I'm 44, I've lived 44 years, I know all of the things that I don't like and don't want, because I've experienced that, right. So by knowing that, it also highlights the things that maybe I do want, right? So one of the practices that I like, is like, if you don't know exactly what you want, that's okay. Those will get highlighted. And those will come as you start to, like, do this work on yourself and clear, you know, clear out the clutter, lawn, clear. So us, you know, yeah, clear out the clutter and find out, find out what it is that make a list of the things you don't want, and it'll highlight the things that you do.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:26:07

You know, that's a great trick, because there are a lot of people that struggle with Well, I don't know what else, I didn't know what I want, what do I want, I'm not sure, you know, but they certainly have an idea of what they don't want because of their experiences. So it is a good way, if you're feeling stuck, trying to figure out what you do want, perhaps you could reflect on what you don't want what you already know that you don't want. And that will help you to get clarity. The other thing that I'm going to add here is that if you don't know what you want, in terms of more tangible extrinsic things, what do you want to feel? As that? I bet, you know, right, I bet you. And most people know how they want to feel. Right? I don't know about you, but I know I want to feel joy. I know I want to feel fulfilled, I know I want to feel ease, right. And so if I can lean into that catchy little trick and manifesting you guys, if you can lean into the feeling that you desire and embody that feeling, even though you might not have the thing that you think you need to get the feeling. If you can lean into the feeling, then you raise your vibration, and then you can attract what you want as well. So it's a wonderful way to think about it. So Kevin, any final words, I know that you've got a special class that you run on Wednesdays. And so there's going to be a special link in the show notes for everybody to access that class, both free as a gift from Kevin. So Kevin, do you want to speak to that? And any final words?

Kevin McNee: 00:27:41

Absolutely. Yeah. So wisdom, Wednesday's is happens on the first Wednesday of every month. And Wisdom Wednesday is all about, we all have our own wisdom. Right? I want to I'm going to be bringing in people, you know, hopefully like yourself one time to share their wisdom, whether it's coaches, healers, practitioners, business, you know, financial people, from all walks of life, sharing their wisdom, as well in that container, there's an opportunity for everyone else to contribute as well and share their wisdom and reflect and truly connect, because everyone can learn from everyone. And that's one of the things that that I wanted to, to create. So the first Wednesday of every month is Wisdom Wednesday, and it happens at noon, mountain time. So that's, that's, that's one of the things that I've got going on. So looking forward to sharing with everybody that

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:28:37

And you've also got breathwork, and things like that so people can find more information on your site. And that also is in the show notes for all of you in the audience. So this is an open door invitation for you to attend Kevin's next well, Wisdom Wednesday. I always said well, it's Wednesday. I used to have so that is so wonderful. Thank you so much for extending that gift to our audience members. Anything that you want to say as you're closing out saying goodbye today.

Kevin McNee: 00:29:12

You know, one of the one of the things is a quote that comes up for me, it's it says that no matter what, it's not the end, and know if it's like it'll all work out in the end. And if it doesn't, it's not the end.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:29:30

Ah, it'll all work out in the end. And if it doesn't, it's not the end. How lovely is that? Kevin, this has been so much fun. And I love that you came to share a bit of your story and feeling like you were living someone else's dream. And again, I remind our audience to ask themselves, are they dreaming someone else's dream? Are they living someone else's dream? And so I think that's a beautiful question to leave everybody with for today. A and to invite you to explore what is your real dream? What is your dream? So Kevin, you have been an inspiration. Thank you so much for taking time to be with us today. Oh, like, oh, it's been such a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you for all of you listening. Thank you for tuning in. I deeply appreciate it. I love hearing your feedback as well. So please keep that feedback coming when you listen to an episode and something clicks for you or you have an aha moment those things fill me up so much. And until next time, we will be with you soon on When Spirit Calls bye for now everybody.

DeeAnne Riendeau: 00:30:41

WSC Intro/Outro: So happy you could join us today and we hope that you found comfort and inspiration with wherever you are at right now. If you feel you received a gift in today's message, please pass that gift along to a loved one by sharing this episode with them. To continue this conversation, please join me at Rosehope.ca And when you do, be sure to access your free gift by signing up for the When Spirit Calls newsletter. And looking forward to connecting with you again soon.