Embracing Fear – Moving Through the Web of Life

Speaker: 00:00:04

WSC Intro/Outro: This is When Spirit Calls and you on your journey, are in the right place. This show is about magic, miracles and meaning shared through stories, interviews and channeled messages. We have so much to share about who you are and your divine mission here on the earth, let's get to it When Spirit Calls. Is right now.

Speaker: 00:00:33

Rev. Rose Hope: Our lovely guest today is Michelle Christine. Michelle is a wellness practitioner who supports individuals, youth and families on their healing journey. She is a certified energy practitioner and ecstatic dance and breath work facilitator, and she's a full time supervisor with provincial campus based care in Alberta, Canada. At her core, Michelle is a ritualist, an earth lover and a student of the old mythic ways. She values storytelling, song and gardening as a means to transform how trauma is experienced in the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual body. Michelle is a passionate caregiver and is committed to creating collective experiences for individuals of all ages to explore the essence of healing and connection. And you can learn more about her at Michellechristine.ca which will be in the show notes for you as well. Today, I'm so excited to have this guest here with us today, as I recently experienced her incredible talent as a facilitator in a ceremony that we actually co facilitated, and then experiencing as a student of hers in a fire walk ritual. It was a very profound experience for me, and so I could not wait to get Michelle on the show to share her magic and her life with all of you today. And so let's dive right in.

Speaker: 00:01:59

Hello, listeners of when Spirit calls, we are back again. You've just learned a little bit about my lovely guest, Michelle, today, and I am so excited about having her here. Hi, Michelle.

Michelle Christine: 00:02:11

Good morning.

Michelle Christine: 00:02:13

Rev. Rose Hope: I so happy to be with you. You know you and I had the privilege of meeting each other just this last summer, so really, only a few short months ago, and I just fell in love with the embodied, divine feminine energy that oozed out of you, your grace, your love, just radiated from you. And I just thought, this is a woman who I want to know. I just knew I wanted more of you, and so I'm so excited that you agreed to come on today's show, because you have so much magic to share with the world. So why don't you start us off as we in typical when Spirit calls fashion, we want to know how spirit called you through your life. You know, what is it that brought you from, you know, being this sweet little Michelle to the beautiful, empowered woman that she is today. So would you give us a little backstory?

Michelle Christine: 00:03:05

Yeah, wonderful. Thank you for the invitation. It's beautiful and wonderful to be here with you again. There's something really special about that first encounter. And sometimes we're aware of when something's a first encounter, and sometimes we're not aware of it. And so that first real, physical I can identify this as my first encounter with you, was in ceremony, and it was a beautiful opportunity, and my eye was on you. And energy, we were flowing because we didn't have time before that. It was we showed up and we had a role to play, and we had both said yes, and so we stepped into those roles. But when you started to sing, that was when the singer in me felt and saw and heard the singer in you, and it was, oh, that's that soul piece that when the Spirit calls it's like spirit has called me towards music and to be engaged in life, through music and through storytelling and through, I suppose, an embodied experience of learning who I am, and that, that piece of, How did I become, how did I end up here? And, you know, often people will tell us our largest challenges, or our obstacles, or those things that we thought were going to break us, are what helps us on our path. It's that invitation that, hey, if your soul wants to be or become or experience these things, here are the obstacles, or the expressions the challenges, to set you up for that. So it's not to set you up for failure, but it's to set you up on the path that you said that you were coming here to experience, yes, and creativity has always been huge for me. I mean, when I was little embarrassing to say but I thought I was going to get to be a princess, and then I realized, oh, maybe I want to be the rebel that it was. Can I be a rebel? Princess, and then it was gonna be a little bit of everything. I want to I want to explore the world based on how I'm feeling and what's flowing through me. And I want to sing and I want to dance, and I want to tell stories, and I want to embody different characters, and I want to be all of these things. How is that possible to be all of these things in one lifetime. And then I got sick, and it was that piece of trying. I've always been curious and wanting to learn, and I studied journalism. I wasn't impartial, so I couldn't do that, but there was still that storytelling piece. So I started to work with nonprofit organizations and wanting to tell the world about the good things that they were doing and the people they were working with. And then I would want to stick around. It's like, oh, wow, you're doing such good work in the world. I don't want to tell a story and leave. I want to be able to contribute to the story. So I would stay. And then I started running programs and learning about different cultures and working in different places around the world, and realizing there is so much to learn about who we are. We go into a circumstance, and I think our Western way, that institutional ways, there's a problem, and I have to fix it, as opposed to, how are we together? What is possible now that we're in each other's company, that maybe wasn't possible when we weren't and the more I realized that, the more I moved from this place of like trying to figure out my place in a dynamic or in a constellation, and trying to make sense of it in my brain so that I could feel validated or belonging or worthiness, instead of saying I'm already inherently all of those things, what's possible now that we're together, and what is asking to come through us so that the world can can have a little extra beauty or a little extra song or play or expression of grief, or a healthy way to move anger. And when I got sick, you know, it took me a long time to acknowledge that that's what I was, because it wasn't like a diagnosis of your sick. But my body began to shut down. I started to have an extremely dysregulated nervous system to the point where I was constantly in fight or flight freeze. Is when I realized, oh my gosh, I'm sitting at the front door and I've been sitting here for three hours and I just can't get up to go to work, like my body is telling me this is no longer an environment that is serving your soul. So are you going to stay or are you going to go? Because we tried to give you the signs, the mental signs, that this wasn't for you and you're not listening because you're stubborn, and I am. But finally, when my body started to shut down, and I was getting like, I had multiple throat infections in six months, I had to take antibiotics. And that wasn't my experience. I've had a really strong immune system all growing up, and so finally, suddenly I was like spending days in the bathtub where it was just, I turn out the lights, I fill the tub. As soon as it started to get cold, I'd fill it up again. You know, I was self medicating. I was doing these things to get by. And finally, was like the universe just said, Is this how you want to be? Is this how you are you willing to spend your days like this? And it was a full body response, that moment where I was like, no, like, I'm not willing to do this anymore. Wow. And I let go of a really incredible, you know, high paying, sought after vocation and job, and I moved into self employment, and I just started to pray a lot with key God. What is that I'm supposed to do? I thought I knew, and I don't know. Can you show me? Can you show me? You know, I had to get my butt kicked a little bit to humble myself to realize I haven't learned how to listen. I thought I knew how to listen, but I'm not really listening. And one thing led to another, and I started to find incredible teachers and elders and wise women, and I began to make sense, not just in my head, but in my body and in my voice and in my ears and my dreams of oh, this is what it is to walk a mystic life, like if the core word, the root word and mystic is that mystery. It's that myth. It's what are all the things outside of us and beyond us that we might not really understand, but their essence is captured in song and story and the way that we are together. And I thought, Oh, wow, I'm meant to be in service to this path, to this path of the mystic, to bring mystery and wonder and these old ways into modern times. And I don't know how to do that. So how does one proceed? Mm. Hmm. And it was really beautiful. Because for me, you know, this might be a controversial subject, but when you know when the pandemic happened and parts of the world shut down, I think natural laws, when a door closes, a window opens, like there's a contraction and an expansion. And these doorways, these pathways, these invitations to be in the world, particular ways became so visible and undeniable, and it was one foot after the other, and I just started walking through the doors, and they led to forests and wonder and incredible people who I am, you know, happily indebted to like that, like, wow, I I wouldn't be here without each of these individuals having done the work that they've done so that I can learn what it is to be in the world in a particular way that isn't necessarily accepted or understood in modern times.

Michelle Christine: 00:11:01

Rev. Rose Hope: Oh, I just, I love just getting to know kind of your process and kind of what you moved through and and it's so interesting that illness was the thing that kind of was your catalyzer to say, hey, you haven't been listening well enough. And I think this happens for a lot of us. You know, a lot of our listeners have moved through cancer and are experiencing different health issues. I myself, you know, diagnosed with IBS, Fibro, Raynaud's, I mean, the list goes on, and that every single opportunity in which my body said, Hey, hello, we've got to ruffle the feathers a little bit was such a beautiful gift for me, because every time that I found my body saying, alarm, alarm, alarm, pay attention, I was able to say, oh, okay, what is this about? What do I need to do with this? And it's deep in my relationship with my physical body, but I think a lot of us miss that. You know, we get sick and we think, Oh, my body's weak and it's failing me. It's actually your body championing for you. And I think that's an interesting perspective shift that I want to bring to the surface. Because I don't know about you, but I rejected my body a good chunk of my life, like I was weak, I was sick growing up, you know, so I always felt like my body's not strong enough, it's not capable enough, and I've been so hard on my body, I had to come into this beautiful relationship with my physical vessel and recognize that, that my soul chose her, knowing that's what I needed, that's The body that I needed to get me to my highest evolution. And so it became such a gift for me in starting to recognize that when my body gets sick, it's not because she's weak, it's because she's stronger than ever, and she knows that she needs to scream at me for me to get the message that I haven't been getting because I've been so inundated with the busy overwhelm, over stimulation, escaping distractions of the world, so I've learned to just honor her in such a different way. And I can tell you, learn to do the same with your own self. One of the things that really stood out for me in your talk was you asked this question, what is possible now that we're we are together, rather than looking at this world from this I gotta put out fires, I gotta solve all these problems. I love this perspective of what is possible now that we're together, and I'm going to take that moving forward to me that's such a golden nugget, and I wanted to really bring that to the surface. So when we ask that question, what's possible now that we are together, I think what it does is it opens up those doors you were talking about in so many ways, and now we get a chance to see the possibility, instead of getting distracted by maybe the stuff that we think we need to get distracted by, that makes sense. So my question to you around this is, what are some of the things in addition to that question that we can do to lean into possibility. And you, you alluded to solve it. But can you kind of tell us what you do to create possibility in your life?

Michelle Christine: 00:14:31

To create possibility? Yeah, I mean, the first thing I think I do is realize when I've closed to it. I think that I'm, I've got a pretty strong visionary. I am an ideas person, yeah, and sometimes my challenge is I don't slow down. Yeah, no. It's like, oh my gosh, I have this idea, and everything is possible. Let's go for it right now. That. That I did like this one. Yeah, right. And then there's that reality of, how do you take stock of also taking care of your body? How do you realize that everything that makes us excited and fulfilled also requires us to do things that we might not like? Yeah, my one of the things I love more than anything is gathering people and creating experiences. And in order to run a weekend retreat, the amount of time I have to spend at a computer. So in order to move my body and be in the world with people, I have to stop moving my body and remove myself from being with people so that I could work on the computer. And you know, once upon a time, maybe it wasn't like that, because once upon a time, we didn't have computers, and we would just open our door and we would see our neighbors, and they would likely need help with something, yeah, and so you would go and you would help them. And that piece of what is possible, you know, once upon a time, it stemmed from what is necessary, what is required, right? And what are the limitations that belong in regards to what is possible? There's this beautiful story from an elder, Stephen Jenkinson, and he tells this story about, you know, pushing a cart. And once upon a time, many people had to get come together to push that cart. You couldn't do it by yourself. If you were lucky, maybe you had horses, and you could strap your cart to the horses, and so you'd have a little bit of help, but you're still not doing it alone. Yeah. And then there became, you know, the invention of the wheel, and all of a sudden, there's a little bit more momentum so it can move faster. And then perhaps, maybe once upon a time, someone thought, well, maybe we could create this device so that we don't even have to do anything. It'll just move on its own. And then people thought, sure, that's a great possibility. But if we were to do that, then would we still come together? So there's this like again, that expansion and that contraction of when we come together. Things are possible because we can wonder what's already here. How might we support it? How might we amplify it? How could we tend to it? What is possible when a seed is put into the ground and preyed upon and then watered and then the sun like what what is possible and what are the limitations of possibilities that also belong so that something else might be able to come and that can be if you're not used to circular, non linear conversation and wondering and story that might be like, What is she talking about? And I think that there's this piece where so often this idea of limitations is seen as a negative or a bad thing, as opposed to a like. But a limit is a boundary. It's not a negative thing. Perhaps it's there as a container to hold something, yes, and it doesn't mean it can't be moved. Yeah, but also, right, resistance is there because when we have to work for something, it makes us stronger. If you could just push every limitation out without even thinking about it, we have no time to notice potential harm or unintended consequences of the circumstances that we've now engaged in. And so that's, you know, a side stream of your inquiry. But there is that piece, because for every possibility, it's not what's the cost, because cost is sort of, you know, checks and balances, but it's what is the consequence for every possibility. How does that have an impact in the space as well. And however, I think that when possibilities come from this place of wondering, I wonder what's possible without the attachment, without the need to do it simply because we can, what is possible, what belongs, what is being asked of us. Because I have a lot of ideas of things I just want possible, yeah, and then like, but what if? What if there's things that I'm not even aware of yet? What if it's those things that I don't think are possible because they challenge my own sense of self, my own sense of worthiness, my own capacity? What if those are the things that I meant to work, because that working requires me to massage these limitations and not just plow through them.

Michelle Christine: 00:19:29

Rev. Rose Hope: Yes. Ooh, okay, so I want to pull out some really beautiful threads of what you just spoke about. So the first thing that you said out of the gates was around once you do Lean into what's possible, not getting too wrapped into it, so then you're running and like driving it. You know, my clients often hear me talk about the difference between being driven and drawn, and that draw is so important so that we're paced, so that it's sustainable. And I don't know how many times, Michelle. I've taken something on, and I'm just like, bulldozing through it, and I'm missing all of life beyond that, and not even realizing that maybe some of the things I'm bulldozing through aren't even in full alignment for the highest vibrational good, right? Because it's just I'm so determined to get to the finish line. And I think that happens to a lot of people out there, where we're just like, all we can see is that finish line, and so we're just like, barreling to that finish line, and we're missing all the people rallying behind us. We're missing all of these beautiful interactions and opportunities that can come as a byproduct of the original possibility. So I think that in its first point was so profound, and it really does invite the action of stillness within our visions, within our possibility. I think that's kind of what you were saying, is like, we need to be willing to, like, pause as we're building, or pause as we're going to that finish line, and create some of that stillness so that we can listen and make sure we're on the right track and make sure that when we get to the finish line, that it's the right finish line that I ran some races, and not come across the right finish line before you know. The other thing that you brought to the surface was the what are the consequences of the possibility and and maybe even the word outcomes is even a more accurate rather than the word consequence. But like, what are the outcomes of the possibility? And I think sometimes we forget to look at that. We're like, Okay, well, if this domino falls here, right, where's the next domino gonna fall? And this has happened to me as well, when I think I have these great ideas, I remember I was really young teaching at Nate with all these, you know, older teachers, instructors, and I was the new young, you know, pop coming in with all these ideas, right? I was turbocharged and excited and passionate, and I wanted to make all these changes. Well, guess what? Met with resistance, because now all of a sudden, I'm coming in wanting to change things, make them more efficient, in my mind. But there was some outcomes of some of those possibilities that I hadn't really thought of, right? I hadn't thought of the impact it would have for these other instructors to have to redo some of their programming and the work that would be involved, right? And I think that happens a lot for those of us who are especially passionate, right? Again, we just we get excited, and sometimes we miss all of those outcomes, or all of those consequences of the possibility. And then you brought up something that which is like, one of my favorite things to talk about, which is the art of, I wonder. I wonder, allowing ourselves to be curious, to invoke the awe and the wonder. And I think, you know, we get so conditioned to take things so seriously, and we're missing that beautiful magic of the I wonder what would happen if I did this. I wonder what, you know, what could happen over here, or what this might look like. And I think there's potency in that. But I love that you shared those pieces in particular. I want to talk a little bit more about a few other things that you said earlier, and before I get into that, you know, again, you shared a bit that you know, you and I met in ceremony, so our first introduction with each other was coming to support a Magdalene ceremony, and we had never met, and we just became sacred sisters, because that's what our role was, and then you actually facilitated later that day a fire walk, right? And this is what I want to speak to, because the fire walk, first of all, was so moving for me. I i definitely jumped a timeline that weekend and like the following month, like so much was manifested beyond my wildest dreams, and it was because I made a decision when I crossed that fire to step into a whole new version of myself, like I was stepping into the timeline. And before we did the fire walk, I was moving so much energy. So I was like in the grass, I'm bawling, I'm moving so much energy. I had so much grief that I moved through because I was sick with pneumonia this summer, all grief of the deaths that I had not processed. So that was on the tail end of that so I moved that grief. And there was something that I kept hearing over and over in my mind, because I don't consider myself overly fearful. I feel like I've really hacked my ego in so many ways. It holds me back, but I realized that I was just convincing myself that I had no fear left. I had a whole bunch of fear. I had a whole bunch of fear of what I wouldn't get done. So it wasn't fear of failure, it was it was more fear of like that, panic of like I have so much to do still, I have so much to do, and I don't have enough time. Like that was almost the feeling of fear, and then it showed up in other threads, like, Oh, I am afraid of this, and I'm afraid of that. Like all of the fear started coming up, and you said something that was so potent. You said, The only way through fear is through fear. And I mean, I understood fear, and I faced the fear. And facing the fear, to me, was different than actually moving through the fear, like facing it is one thing moving through it. It was a different ball game for me. And it's interesting that that might, for some people, seem so subtle, but to me, that's a big difference for me to say, hey, fear, I see you, and I'm gonna conquer you, or I'm gonna whatever is one thing, but to actually move through the fear, to me, that was different to me, it meant that I had to build a relationship with the fear. I had to befriend the fear, I had to hold space for the fear. I couldn't just face it and be like I'm here facing you black and then move on. It was like, No, now I really had to embark on this relationship with it, and so I wanted to just bring that to the surface, because I think that fear, I think there's a fear plague happening right now, and I write about it a bit in my book, because I feel like it is just that fear hasn't been embedded. And then everyone's false self or their ego mind or their logical mind that we have, we know it serves a purpose to keep us safe, but it has been so overgrown with this fear, so it's almost become like this tumor, in a way, that's embedded itself with this fear mongering that's happening. And, I mean, we came out of 2020, you know, moving through that experience. And what was it? Fear everywhere. Be afraid. Stay away from people, like, lock your doors, like it was, like, you know, really intense. And so I've seen this fear now showing up in so many people as they come for sessions or what have you, and I'm curious to know about your relationship with fear and some of the things that you do to be able to walk through fear.

Michelle Christine: 00:27:14

Yeah, thank you. I forgot that, that I was, like, really entranced in that fire walk. I forgot.

Michelle Christine: 00:27:19

Rev. Rose Hope: Yeah, me too. Yeah. It wasn't incredible.

Michelle Christine: 00:27:23

It was that whole journey which was not pre planned. You know, we go into those ceremonies with an intention and a prayer and a plead, and then it's like, what is needed, what is possible, because there's anything, everything is possible. And then cool. And from that possibility, what is needed. And it was grandmother spider who came in to that space, and she said these people, myself included, like you're all stuck in the web. Still, you're stuck in in this web of fear. And in many traditions and stories, like grandmother spider is the embodiment of fear, and then on the other side of that web, should you be able to move through it? It's like the garden of creation. Because if everything was easy, then it wouldn't just be what's possible. It would be like that. It would almost be on demand. Fear is one of the most significant teachers, because it's asking us to slow down, right? That thing that we talked about, it's asking us to slow down and take stock. You know, in a way, this is going to be non linear, because there's a lot of things that are like, talk about me. Talk about me as a kid, man, let us see how this is going to roll here. Because when fear shows up, I think the immediate thing, right? Our nervous systems, our bodies, are designed with intelligence. They're so intelligence, and so that intelligence says, stop if you're afraid. What are you afraid of? Are there real life threats? If so, you respond in this particular way, and then you shake it off and you carry on however. We live in a time where fear is everything. And you know, sometimes, for some people like the phone could ring and they're afraid because they don't know what's on the other side, and they no longer trust their own intelligence, their own intuition, to discern how they receive that input. There is an over charge of influence and input. And so it's like if the phone rings and I'm scared, because if someone asks me for something, and I don't know how to say no, it might break me, right? Or that, that illusion that it will break us, yeah, so there's that gateway where fear can say, okay, but what's happening? That means that there's an imbalance in in the space. So face it, what is it? I'm afraid of saying no. I'm afraid that if I say no, people won't like me. I'm afraid that if I say no, my friends will want to be my friends anymore. I'm afraid if someone asks me to do the thing I've been waiting my whole life to do, when I say yes, I'm going to screw it up, and I'll never get another chance. And then I failed. And now, and the list goes on and on about all of these things about who we are, yeah, and so for. Me, I live with a lot of fear, like, you know, my mom reminds me this story. I'm so grateful she does, because I don't remember the story, but I wasn't old, like I was young. Then she said to me, wow, like you must be fearless. You do all of these things. And I said, wow, it's not that I'm not afraid. I'm afraid. And then I do it anyways. It's there. How do we develop skills and tools and capacity to be with fear the same way that we develop skills and tools and a capacity to be with joy or sadness or anger? Because these emotions are beautiful ways that our body and our mind and our hearts and our souls are saying there's some things here for you to learn, so that you can move through a particular block and actually receive what's on the other side. And so this sort of goes back to that piece where in my body, and I don't even know why I use the example of the phone. It must be a my phone sitting here, but probably because at one time when my nervous system was overshot, yeah, the phone ringing was like, I don't think I can handle one more request. I don't think I can do one more thing, because I've given way more than I have to give, and I'm in a deficit. So I don't even have the capacity to say no, because if they push back, I can't defend myself. Like, I'm, you know, I'm just, I'm done, yeah. And where that led me was to really understanding, like, the physiology of our bodies, like what is actually happening in our nervous system. And I know the nervous system, in some ways, it's a new buzzword, right? And it's like, okay, but it's actually a whole system in our body. It's not just our word. There's an entire you know, like people are experts in this, and I'm not an expert by any means, but I've spent seven years learning about, how does my nervous system govern the way I show up in the world, and how have my experiences little t, big T, traumas, right? Trauma is impact. It's a large impact. Some say it's much too soon, too fast. And they don't have to be life shattering, world changing things. They can be small things that create a shift in the way that we operate and bring in sensory information. And so when I began to realize, Oh, my nervous system is always in a heightened state of arousal. I wake up in a state of panic. I can't fall asleep because I'm in a state of panic. How do I change the physiology of my body so that I can actually have a felt sense of safety, not in my head. I know I'm safe because I can look around the room and be like, oh, there's no lions, there's no tigers, there's no bears, there's no humans with weapons, like I'm actually safe. So why don't I feel safe? Yeah, because there's an energy in my being, in my body, there are stories in my head. There are these things that a result of our modern times where we don't feel safe, we don't feel like we're allowed to take the time we need for all of our sensories to catch up, including our feelings, including our spirit, right, including rest that our body needs or movement that our body needs. Yeah. And so when I began to learn, you know, well, first I spent about four weeks, I quit my job, and I spent four weeks in the bathtub, in the dark, from crying, I found singing, and then singing helped me come back into the world, because there's a vibration that starts in your throat, right? It begins to move energy. I don't want to talk about it anymore. You know, you can go to therapy and you can talk, talk, talk, talk, and that's fine, but I'm still sitting in the chair. So this is where the movement of somatics come in. When do we lean into the intelligence of our body to help our physical vessel, to allow that the wisdom of our vessel to begin to regulate our body, to move those blocks that's stored in our cells so that we can heal without having to do it in our brains, where it's like, oh, I can dance and heal. I can cry and heal. I don't have to make sense of it all. I can trust that it's just moving. So I don't remember your question, but I hope that touched it.

Michelle Christine: 00:34:24

Rev. Rose Hope: Yeah. I mean, it was really to like, what are some of the things to help us moving through that fear? And you know, I think your response is so brilliant, and what you just said there was, like, we don't always have to heal it in our mind. And I think this bears repeating, because even for myself, I thought that I have it all figured out up here in my mind. I thought that like I had to make sense of it here, but a lot of my healing that I done has been breath work. It's been movement. And I just found myself feeling free and relieved after I didn't need to consciously know that this was what this was about, and this was attached. Much to this, and this was how this was connected. Like I didn't need all of that, and yet I spent much of my life trying to analyze it and understand it from a logical perspective. But like you said before, it's not linear, and so throwing that out the window when it comes to the fear piece, right? Like we can ask the fear what It's teaching us, what it's showing us, that's great. That can consciously help us, but if we really want to allow it to move, coming into that regulated state and then tuning into vibration and frequency, we now understand with science so much more, right? We know that musical notes have the vibration and they have a color to them. You know, we know so much more in this bigger sense of the world. And so for you, was singing that like helped you to move through this piece. And I know singing has become a big part of it. For me, you also mentioned prayer earlier, and I think prayer is also so powerful. So to me, singing and prayer and combining the two, praying while singing, I mean, very you've got this, like, powerful force. So when it comes to this somatic work, like, can you tell people what somatic means, just in case that's new to them?

Michelle Christine: 00:36:19

Yeah. So the most simple way is somatic, is the body. So going back to the body, and I like to provide a map, not because it's the way, but it's because it's a tool for orienting. And so that question, how do we move fear out of the body? So you can try this. By no means am I saying it's going to be the goal too, but it could be a start, but there's that piece of when we're beginning to feel escalated and we realize like, Oh, I'm afraid of something first. Can we realize that? Do we know how fear shows up in the body? My palms start to sweat. I get a tightness in my chest. My tummy starts to like, maybe gurgle. My mind begins to tell stories about the last time something happened, or all the reasons why I shouldn't do it, or maybe that it's a bad idea, or that it's reckless, right? When you begin to know those signs, you can say, Oh, this is fear showing up. So fear shows up. One of the things I like to do right off the hop. Is this real great? Because I don't want to say, like, just never mind your fear. Like, no, listen to it and say, Wow, is this real great? If you're like, Oh my gosh. Like, they're they're telling me to cross the road right now. And I'm like, I'm feeling all the reasons why I shouldn't cross the road. Yeah, look both ways. If there's cars absolutely don't cross the road. Yeah. Fear is like, high fiving you, saying, Thanks for paying attention to me, you know, but if it's a I'm afraid that that person will like me, right? All those examples that we did that aren't going to physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, harm us, per se, okay? So that fear isn't that there is a real life threat to my life or my well being, right? My perceived sense of self, sure, right? In that egoic land, yeah, but if, if it's not real, if it's like, wow, I'm safe. There's no threat. So then could I handle that? I'm gonna try this thing. So the first time I get on a stage, yeah, I'm scared, and my tummy is gurgling and my heart is racing and my palms are sweaty, and am I gonna get hurt? Likely? No. Like, sure, maybe I could fall, you know, or something, but, like, I'm not gonna get hurt. Okay, so what am I afraid of? I'm afraid of not being good enough. I'm afraid I'll forget the words that look stupid. I'm afraid that people won't like it. I'm afraid, you know, and all of these stories about failure, yeah. And then it was like, Could I handle that? So what? So what if I forget all the words? What if I suck? What if I mess up? What if people don't like it? I was like, well, Frigg, even if I'm sitting in the audience, people not like, not like the way I'm sitting, like people are, they're gonna have their opinions. And if we govern ourselves based on that, how do we, how do we be with fear? Yeah, and so, okay, cool. I now I recognize fear is here. There is no real threat. I can handle it, because if it's no like there was a time when my nervous system was shot and it was like, Okay, I'm not really going to be hurt. But if I show up in this place and people ask something of me and I do it, I could burn out. I could get sick again. I could fall into fatigue, and I could relapse, right when we think of recovery, right? If it's like, if I'm a recovering so I'm sober by choice. I'm sober, and there was a time, and still it's like, Sure, I could go to that bar. I could go there. Yeah, is there a threat? Not really, not really, but there's going to be a lot of influence into my space, and it might change my behaviors and actions, and if I choose to consume. My mind altering substance. Like, sure, I can handle it, but I don't want to. But I don't actually want to, though that is not an influence in my space, that I enjoy enough, that I have a benefit from enough to say, yes, I want to do this right? And sometimes it's like, oh, and that's a bar where, you know, bars, that's what you do, they're to consume. But if it's like, there's a gathering or there's a wedding and alcohol is just there, but it's not the main thing, right, then the threat is different. And I'm like, that could be something that I'm willing to participate in. Is back to that word, you know, of consequence. The thing that comes for me is, like, it has a negative rep. But there's this piece, con with sequence, the sequence what comes next, right? So it's like, how are we with what comes next based on our actions, our choices and how we are, yes, and so once I go through that, can I handle it? This is where the somatic piece comes. How can I be in my body? So can I slow down and check in and say, Can I hold in my body in a way where I feel regulated and balanced and calm the idea of going to that event or saying yes to that experience? Yeah, if I'm already like, oh my gosh, that really freaks me out. Okay, maybe I'll shake my hands a bit, or I'll bounce in my chair. I like to bounce in my chair so you can't see me. But you know, if you're listening, think is something that scares you. Go through that process of identifying if there's really harm, could you handle the outcome or the consequence? And then as you imagine yourself stepping through or towards that thing that scares you. Notice what comes up in your body and invite gentle movement. Wow. Or even if you're in the car, you could just bounce, or you could tap the steering wheel, or you could shake your head. I like to make weird sound, right, like, yes, move that energy so that it's no longer in your body through a somatic way, and then you can just notice your body again. Okay, now that I've even thought about this idea of stepping towards the thing that scares me. How am I sitting in my chair? Am I fist clenched? Are my shoulders pulled in? Is my jaw tight? Okay, so you're holding on to something you don't need to know what the kid, you just relax your jaw, right? Could you just un Cleanse your hands? Can you take a deep breath in through your nose and let that energy settle and then discern, is this what I want to do? And there's this phrase of, like, the titration, right? It's like, you can choose, if you think of a water tap, the titration is you could open it all the way to the faucet where water is just exploding everywhere. Now there's a mess to clean, yeah, where you could just open it a little bit, okay, I'll open it a little bit, and I'll try it for a little bit, and then maybe I'll close it again, and I'll go back into my body. So when my nervous system was shot, and I hadn't yet left work, and I'm still at work, and I have to go to all these big events and be on I would go and do the thing I had to do with the main conference hall. I would go and take a time out in the bathroom, and I would just be in the bathroom. My hands weren't dirty, but I'd wash them anyways. I'd feel the water. I'd calm myself down. I'd wait till I felt regulated enough that I could look a person in the eyes again. Then I would go back out, and when I began to feel activated, I'd be like, cool. Now I'm going to take another time out, and maybe I'm going to go outside. Brilliant. And so those are the ways where our body, if we can be with our body and allow that movement to support us, we'll begin to shift where we are and find a new equilibrium of the frequency that we're residing in or where we want to go. And I mean, and it's not simple, so I don't want to undermine people's experience, but I do want to express that I've been there and I can relate, and I'm well studied and well experienced in it, and that it's certainly possible, and it takes time, and it is not meant to be quick. It's not meant to be quick. The whole thing about our nervous systems is helping us calm down and regulate so we can begin to discern what threat really is, and animals are the best teachers for this.

Michelle Christine: 00:44:27

Rev. Rose Hope: Wow, I love that you just gave us a step by step. You know, having the awareness of it, recognizing it, you know, is it real? Can I handle this and then allowing the body to show us the way a little bit more like leaning into the natural regulatory system of the body, even, and tuning into that, and then allowing ourselves to give ourselves some gentle movement or breath. And as you're speaking it, I'm taking in deep breaths, and I'm moving the energy over here. It's fantastic. So. So I love this. I feel like it slows us down, and it allows us to get to know and honor our bodies the way that the bodies really are inviting us to. I know that you and I can talk for hours more, but we are going to come to the close of our day, because I think that's so much good stuff for everyone to take in and absorb. So I know you do so many amazing things. I mean, you do the ecstatic dance, somatic work, the singing, you know, all of this magic that you bring to the world. Like you are the, you know, truly a modern day mystic. And so if people are like, What more does this woman do? I need to talk to this woman more. What? How can they find you?

Michelle Christine: 00:45:44

Thank you. So my website is www.michellechristine.ca. I am currently not up to date. You know, there's always something happening, but I just don't want to be on the computer all the time. So it's just it. You're not alone. You're not just like email so email me would be the best thing. You know, there's these, these pieces. We talked a lot about the body, and I believe there's so many different ways that we can learn and heal through the body. And some of that is movement on a larger scale, with dance, you know, but even breath work. When we breathe, we're dancing. And when we breathe, we're moving. There's a natural expansion and contraction, you know. So our bodies are being oxygenated. We're expressing a particular rhythm, even through that. And then there's movement, in regards to, you know, basket weaving and high tanning and gardening, yeah, there's being still and listening to a story, or, even better, making any of those things with your hands while you listen to stories. Yes. So these are the things where I again, I like to experiment and explore, and one of the ways in which I'm learning, still, how to tie all of these things together through an annual event called Remembering the village. And remembering the village is a gathering that happens in August. It's a family, friendly, sober gathering, and it explores all of these things. There's invitations to explore, how are we when we're in each other's company, from food, water, shelter, right? When you have a pop up village, when we think about our people, who are nomadic travelers when they were or, you know, I'm settler descent, so when we arrived here, what was that like? And some of that story wasn't positive. So if we're going to do it again, what if we learned so that we don't have to recreate that same harm? Yeah, how do we move slowly? How do we greet the place where we're arriving? How do we greet one another? How do we make sure everyone's basic needs are met? And then begin to add those layers? And so throughout the course of the year, I'm partaking in a series of different events, of short like small scale, large scale. So we just finished a conflict revolution. Because you know, if you're with people, eventually conflict will arise and it could break you, or it could be a really beautiful opportunity to learn how to come closer together and build intimacy. This Saturday, we'll be doing basket weaving. I have ecstatic dance. On Sunday, two very good friends, Tad Hargrave and kakisimo Natalie Pepin, will be doing a Briar Rose Storytelling Event december 22 right after an ecstatic dance. So if you want to see me and my friends and touch a little bit everything, find anything before december 22 it'll actually be at the place that we met, over at Stonehenge. Oh, beautiful. And then there'll be this series of gatherings that unfold over the coming months as well. So I would say, instead of like listing them off, I'd say, if you want to learn how to new tools or techniques or even just practice with other people, being in our bodies, moving energy, expressing ourselves, creating with our hands, learning old skills to find me, because this is the direction that I'm going in my my prayer, my plea, this possibilities that I'm incubating and still holding until it takes full form is, how can I support families to do this together?

Michelle Christine: 00:49:15

Rev. Rose Hope: It's beautiful

Michelle Christine: 00:49:17

young kids to also develop these skills.

Michelle Christine: 00:49:20

Rev. Rose Hope: Yes, oh, remembering the village actually interesting. I didn't know that you were involved in that, and it it called it poked at me last summer, and just the timing didn't work. So now that you said it again, I'm gonna lean in and folks, I know you're listening from all over the world. This lovely Michelle works in the Edmonton, Alberta area, so all the events that are in person or in the general area. If you are not living here, you know, just know that there is access to other events that are virtual as well. But for now, we're going to have to sign off, and we're going to have all that contact information for Michelle in the show notes, so it's right beneath where. You are listening in to this beautiful podcast. Michelle, thank you. It's been such a treasure for me to be in your space with you and hear your magic and feel your magic. So thank you. Thank you. Any final words before we go?

Michelle Christine: 00:50:17

Oh, my final words would be, yeah, would it be that those who are listening remember to take a breath, to really breathe, to slowly exhale until the point where they're complete, and then to do it again and to release whatever it is they're holding so that space for that guidance and that spirit can come through, so that they can hear the call.

Michelle Christine: 00:50:40

Rev. Rose Hope: Thank you for that breath of fresh air. I so appreciate you, and thank you all for listening in taking the time to just come into stillness or to come into receiving whatever the messages had in store for you today. Thank you so much. Until next time. Take care, everyone. Bye, for now.

Michelle Christine: 00:51:00

Bye.

Michelle Christine: 00:51:03

WSC Intro/Outro: so happy you could join us today, and we hope that you found comfort and inspiration with wherever you are at right now, if you feel you received a gift in today's message, please pass that gift along to a loved one by sharing this episode with them to continue this conversation, please join me @rosehope.ca and when you do, be sure to access your free gift by signing up for the when Spirit calls newsletter, I'm looking forward to connecting with you again soon.